2008 = Crazy Year (Numb 19)

[Hope4us]

There are differing opinions, but I now firmly believe that exposure to OMW is essential in these situations. For me, may not save my M, BUT at least OMW is no longer being deceived and can decide what is best for her.

I am firmly committed to trying to live with TRUTH, HONESTY and OPENNESS. I won't say this is a total 180, but I have in the past been someone who kept things fairly guarded - not so much anymore...

I couldn't agree more Lost. And to go a little further (ok, a lot further), IMO, if a WS does not end their A once it is discovered, the children should be told. In an age appropriate way of course, but told none the less.

I was reading an article yesterday that related the story of a man who had gone through some trauma in his life that NO ONE should have to go through. In fact, it's amazing that the guy didn't end up in jail or worse, but in the article he stated that when his parents divorced it was bad, but learning later in life that his father had cheated on his mother and that was the reason for the divorce and he had been LIED to for all the years was the worst thing he'd ever had to deal with.

Now I know that there could be some different idea's on when to tell the kids. For me I waited until I was ready to file for D before telling them. In retrospect I probably should have told them the first time W went away with OM for the weekend. Maybe that would have ended the A more quickly and then a lot of the pain we threw at each other over the 6 months between that and when I did tell the kids could have been avoided and possibly made our recovery easier.

Ok, mini TJ over, but I thought it was worth sharing what I read and how it relates to our sitch's.

I'll reiterate what someone posted to you earlier. Be careful to keep your distance from OMW. Strictly business. I know there got to be a point for OMW in my sitch where she was getting a little too close, talking about meeting up, etc. And that would have been BAD. As lonely as I was and as vulnerable as she was, it would have been a recipe for disaster.

You're doing well Lost. TRUTH, HONESTY AND OPENNESS. Pretty darn good way to live your (and my) life. No matter what happens, at least you can look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and KNOW you're doing the right thing.