Sounds like you are doing amazingly Julia. You should be proud of yourself. I like your text message response - I think its good to say that you need to speak about this.
You might not realise it but you are in the position of power at the moment, so you can request anything you like, which of course at a minimum is a phone conversation, but I'd aim for a face to face. And know that you dont have to commit to anything at the first meeting - just gather facts and then figure out what you want to do when you can gets some outside advice and be less emotional (because lets face it, its always emotional to see them).
I really like your text and Lisa's suggestion. Send it when you feel comfortable and ready. Or call him and leave the same message as voicemail - its probably 50-50, but at least if you call it shows you are serious that this needs to be discussed.
T - makes some great points too. The two goals T wrote are perfect and good to keep in the forefront of your mind. He probably does think he is doing you a big favour too.
Some questions: 1.. If you didnt have to pay the mortgage for 8 months could you turn that into a positive? 2.. Are you able to disentangle yourself financially from him - what would that mean you would need to do? 3.. Is there any chance that you could move out of the house and have someone rent it? 4.. In your relationship with H who was traditionally the most responsible financially (I'm going to guess it was you?)? 5.. Any opportunities for 180's here?
