Hey, MC. It sounds like OM is an alcoholic to me. I think treatment and AA don't work unless they are seeking it, not their parents. I don't believe your W will ultimately find happiness with OM with all the problems he no doubt has related to that. I do think a lot of times the WAS kind of replay their parent's marriage at least my H has. His parents divorced after 18 years of marriage and his mom had affairs, and H seems determined to repeat that pattern as much as possible.
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I am not pursuing outside relationships and am 100% for saving my marriage and family. I just don't have much to post and don't get much in response because my W and I have such little interaction together.
I think that all sounds good to me. I think it's best to go dark as much as possible when they're in the full-blown affair. But even a few minutes a week you can look your best, work on making yourself happy, keep yourself busy GALing. That's to make yourself more attractive to your WAW, but also will help you also.
Good that you're taking your son as much as possible. I think the WAS' parenting skills seem to suffer, sometimes a lot, at least from what I've seen in my life and others here.
I'm sorry that I don't think there is a magic bullet but there's always hope. I don't believe your W's R will last from what you describe, and that may change your sitch quite a bit. You may not want an R with her though at that point!!!
It sounds like you've got some guilt as if you are responsible for your affair. Yes, everyone here or at least most of us here, would probably admit to mistakes in our marriage as we are all not perfect. I think in my case we both made mistakes in our marriage, as in most. But the LBS didn't go out and sleep with someone to try to "solve" the M problems, as if that would ever be a good idea!!! Yes, work on yourself, but I think often our WAS are having MLC or just depression or addiction or whatever the case may be.
BTW, you said your W is looking for friends and buying shots for them. Maybe eventually she will realize they really aren't friends, but more leeches. Karen
