I just got off of the phone with BG. It has been one hell of a week and it is not one likely to be forgotten by any of us for a long long time. But I don't know if I have ever said this before and I think it bears saying.
Yes you all know I had an affair years and years ago. Yes my H has had 4 (EA, PA?). Do not let what has happened this week ruin Thanksgiving for you. My H's first A was revealed to me 3 weeks to the day after our wedding. It had been going on (if it was ever really going on, I still don't know exactly) and was discovered before the wedding and that is why several of my "Friends" ended up not coming at the last minute. We have been married 12 years. In 12 years, I have celebrated one anniversary. I alwasy acknowledge with a card, but beyond that nothing. To the point that I have actually told H, that day means nothing. Our real anniversary is the day of our first date. I can only imagine how that makes him feel. Every year for me to remind him of what he did. Was the timing right? Absolutly not. But I should have let go of it a long time ago.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
Very wise advise Kel. I don't know why in the heck my H decided to tell me on Thanksgiving morning. Getting thru that day was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Probably partically why I fell apart so hard yesterday. Anyway, I have realized that Thanksgiving usually comes on a different day every year, so Nov 27th is the day that I will remember as the start of our New Marriage. The day that painful truths were told so that the healing can eventually begin.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Evening everyone! Sorry BG- Phone was out in the truck we were in the eye doctor office when you called. H just left. I hurt so much for him right now. He left in tears. I hate what this is doing to him. I know I have pain, but he has so much too that it is killing me. We had a great day. Went to the eye doctor, on the way there, H actually said, I looked nice. The only other time H has said that since this started was when we went to the casino one night. H also noticed I had burned my wrist. I had done it after I had ironed my shirt, and I was trying to do the french cuffs again without taking the shirt off. In the waiting room, I was reading him some story out of the Cosmo that was there about way to be a bad girl in bed. It was funny, H got a kick out of it.
After the eye exam H got pissed off at the Lens Crafter's part when even with insurance they wanted over $400 for 1 pair of glasses. I was afraid our day was going to suck when he got pissed, but we went to a different place in the mall and found a much cheaper price but no glasses he likes, so we will go back to Wal mart and get him some probably. He got over it fast, and was great the rest of the day. Went to a store that is going out of business that I have a gift card for and got H some shirts that are like Under Armour, but much cheaper. We went and ate, and went to the Harley shop and to Best Buy and just looked around. Went to Oklahoma to the casino too. Lost fast and were done, went and looked at cars, then got some beer and came home. He spent the entire day with me again. It was great.
We get home and he brings his bag in and we load him up with about 3 days of clothes. He asks if I am going out? I said No, why. H said because you are still dressed up. I said no just haven't changed yet. H said I wanted to watch you play some tennis before I go, but since you are still dressed up. So I went and put on a sweatshirt and H was giving me a hard time while I was in there changing sneaking up on me. we both played for a while. and then H says I have an idea, it was one of the tips from the Cosmo story, he wanted me to do. We didn't have sex, at least I can say that. H made a comment about not wanting to lose practice. I said well by then maybe we will have been practicing for a while. H said maybe so. Meaning maybe he will have decided he wants me only. When H went to leave we kissed and hugged and thanked each other for a great day.H said it was fun thank you. We walked outside it was raining, and I told him to sleep well. H said he dozes in and out and doesn't go to sleep until around 5:00 or so and then today over slept, glad he didn't have to go to work today. I said do you need an alarm? H said not until I get my own place. That got him upset. I said it will be OK, we will get through this. I know we will will. H said I know.
When we got his clothes, he opened his shaving case and it had shampoo and conditioner in it. So I wonder now where he is staying. H said he would bring me the truck tomorrow, so I have it if the weather gets bad. H said he would rather have me in the truck than the jeep, because it is safer. H says you can wreck it as long as you don't get hurt.
When we were in Best Buy we looked at TV's again, and H was looking at a huge one, I said if you get that, I will be at your house watching Chiefs game. We both laughed. H said he is going to talk to a lady he used to work for she has duplexes, and a guy from his work stayed in one while he was seperated from his wife for a bit.
I know this is killing him. I hate seeing him this way. It hurts so much. I almost wonder if he is seeing her. I guess he might just be fooling me completely, but I don't know right now. I used to be able to tell exactly what he was thinking. Guess I can't anymore.
Hey BG- The movie is Peggy Sue Got Married that Kel and I were talking about. it is really good. has quite a few stars of today, before they were stars...and didn't act all that well. LOL!!
Thanks Kel and Hope, Thanks for the experience Kel.
I think I can work through all of this and let it go when he decides he is ready to come home, because, this isn't how my H would act if he wasn't dealing with and having some huge amounts of pain. I never saw my H cry or even sniffle until his Mom died. I had wondered sometimes if he would cry if something happened to me, now I know better. He was worried about me just with the driving thing. I don't drive the mustang in bad weather.
I never had problems driving anything on ice and snow,then right before I got my mustang, we had a nasty ice/sleet stuff and I drive to work in the dark in the morning, before any of the salt trucks are out, I almost ended up in the ditch one time, did a 360 in my front wheel drive monte carlo. After that it bothers me to drive a non 4x4 when the roads are bad. I know it doesn't matter on ice what you are driving, but it still scared me. I had driven rear wheel drive trucks that had no weight and weren't 4x4 on everything when I was in college. So H gives me his truck to drive, last year he drove the mustang and didn't have any problems. If I only went 5 miles, it wouldn't bother me, but by the time I do 30 miles, I am stressed!
