Thanks for your comments yenko69 and marriedCrazy, was thinking to myself, her side of the family is just her dad, she has one uncle but we have never seen him, so its just her dad and her.
Thanksgiving and Christmas on her side of the family thus consist of W, her dad, and several of her dads close friends that I have grown to know and were basically W's extended family. These friends are also the godparents of the twins.
W respects these people and hasn't introduced OM into the picture yet. My hope is that we can keep the holidays with her side of the family; Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve netural ground (no OM or someday no OW for me)
My side of the family, mom has Thanksgiving the day after (today) and Christmas day at her house is at noon. So everyone has time to do Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve with their other relatives, also everyone has time Christmas morning with their kids and time for church before meeting up at her house.
W thus has Thanksgiving night (we eat early on her side) and Christmas day (after the kids open presents) to be with her OM.
I don't think W has introduce OM to the kids yet either because I would have heard about him by now from the kids.
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Amount of time WAM spent with kids so far this month = 1.65
I sent a e-mail to W, first time in several months, I told her I had a nice time and I understood that she is busy and cannot take the kids all the time, Told her I'm looking forward to her Christmas-Eve dinner, I was nice and polite, here is her response only comment when she says "one of was always there" it was usually me.
I know I have been overwhelmed and I feel like I have been letting you take the brunt of the responsibility for the kids. You know I love them more than anything in the world and would do anything for them. I want to spend more time with them and I know you know it is hard to spread yourself around. I know it was easier when we were in the same house. It didn't seem so difficult, one of us was always there. Now it seems we are always trying to schedule something. I appreciate everything you do, I really do. I had a good time yesterday too. As Always INSERT NAME
W has the kids today - 6 hours, she has a party tonight and will bring the kids back before dinner.
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Amount of time WAM spent with kids so far this month = 1.65
[b]I know I have been overwhelmed and I feel like I have been letting you take the brunt of the responsibility for the kids. You know I love them more than anything in the world and would do anything for them.
As long as it doesn't cut into her party time of course! Seriously, I think her words say one thing and her actions another. (((((Jeff)))))
Yes Karen, her actions speak louder than words and they say me, me,me,me,me,me
Something funny, something not funny and something to think about
Something funny W told me she couldn't keep the kids overnight because she had dinner plans with her girl friends, and she told me today that she had a late lunch with the kids and didn't eat much because of tonight. I just checked my e-mail and at 9:00pm she was home already sending e-mails (I didn't respond to any) couldn't have been that great of a dinner if she is home already
Something not funny The e-mails she is sending have been to a group of people, including OM - so his name and e-mail address are being sent to me with every e-mail (I'm not doing anything with the info). I know his name from my snooping days
Something to think about Life is good! Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty well preserved body but to skid in sideways totally used up & worn out - proclaiming " WOW, WHAT a RIDE ! ! "
Good night all and thank you, I cannot say this enough, thank you all, for listening to me and keeping in your thoughts.
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Amount of time WAM spent with kids so far this month = 1.90
Thanks kat, The stubborn German in me has gotten me through a lot of crap in my life. I'm to stubborn to give up or give in.
W told kids that possibly she would pick them up today and do something, but thats not going to happen anymore, she just called, she is going out and there isn't enough time, she was explaining it to me and I kept saying ok, D9 was right next to me, so I told W D9 wanted to talk to her.
Let W explain why she isn't going to do anything with them today
D9 tells me mom said maybe Monday or Wednesday night she will take them out to dinner. (there's her guilt showing)
I said ok but was thinking, don't hold your breath kid
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Amount of time WAM spent with kids so far this month = 1.90
I know it is hard, but you are being their stable parent. They will always be able to come to you and tell you all sorts of things(some you will want to hear and some you won't. lol) Being a parent has got to be the hardest job in the world...you want to fix everything and protect them from pain. Sadly they have to experience some of it. Hugs to you and your sweet kids.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
D9 tells me mom said maybe Monday or Wednesday night she will take them out to dinner. (there's her guilt showing) As I expected, W did not even call the kids, she just drops by in the morning to pick them up for school, get her fix and then she is done for the day.
No WDID, kids are not seeing any counselor, they have several at school, I continue to watch the kids for any problems, they all have multiple friends, they are all doing great in school, they are all healthy, they are all told by me every day that I love them. I don't see any signs of any problems, I give special attention to D9 because she understands more of what is going on.
I had to go to a class (required in Missouri for D with children) about what signs to look for that would indicate the kids are not adjusting well and possible problems that may occur.
I was thinking of asking C at school to talk to them and see if she notices anything I need to be concerned about.
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D7, D7, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Amount of time WAM spent with kids so far this month = 0
