Giving up when not sure if it's WAW, MLC or both?

[AlexEN]

Trapt,

I know I'm all over the board (literally and figuratively), just not sure which is the right "home" for my sitch (unfortunately, it has too many dimensions to it and I don't know the best spot -- WAW?, MLC?, both? Infidelity)... So, I apologize for posting in different places... I'm new to this and don't fully understand the proper protocol; as long as I've been in it, I'm still trying to diagnose it...

With respect to the kids, that's part of what's killing me. They've been acting better than ever (we used to argue a lot and, I'm sure, now that we don't fight, they feel more secure, when, ironically, that's because my wife has "let go"). They comment on how much nicer I've been (I guess the working on me part has worked for them) and just how nice it is that I've been around more (one of my wife's old complaints was how I was never around for dinner -- so now I am, which probably doesn't work for her, but does for the kids!). She also says things to them that, to me, are very misleading (Mommy and Daddy working on not fighting as much... We aren't working on anything. I have been, but she just wants to be able to say she tried, as it was token effort at best) so when she does drop the news on them, they will be all the more devastated. She really hasn't a clue about how it could effect them. But, you're right, at some level I'm sure they perceive that things aren't right. Also, as I've posted elsewhere (since I've posted too many places), my oldest son is bipolar. The deck is stacked against him to begin with.

I honestly don't feel angry about the affair(s?) any more, but I must admit I resentful for the kids' sake about how dismissive my wife is about the repurcussions of the road she wants to take. Yeah, it's not a foregone conclusion that they can adjust, but with what's being modelled for them about commitment, I am worried about their future love lives, too.

-AlexEN