Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you're having a wonderful day. That is so pants about the C#- obviously your fellow grad student was jealous of your wonderfulness!!
You are all so loving and sympathetic!!!!!! It is so lovely to get all of your messages!!
I am going to call B sometime soon.... maybe... Saturday?? I dunno. I have no idea what his thanksgiving plans are and didn't want to call him if he was celebrating with an OW!! I told myself it is his choice whether or not to take the call though. I think I'm just procrastinating because I am still pretty stressed... I am memorizing melodies for my sightsinging final on monday (only 125 melodies... why did I go to grad school??) I do need to call him before I actually show up in new york mid-december, at least to give him some advance notice.
being home is a little more stressful than it was over the summer, probably because I'm actually trying to get work done now instead of just "going with the flow" with my family.
(((J))) I'm proud of your strength in the face of H's recent ridiculousness!!
((((Ali)))) I'm excited for your driving trip tomorrow with BF. I'm sure he will love the music you ripped for him, and of course your delightful company!
((((essie)))) it's so good to see you!! what is going on in your sitch? No news on your thread?
(((lisa))))) I think maybe the other grad student didn't realize what he was doing (when he picked c#).... ??? Are you taking a break from starting your own thread?? I was worried I offended you with my last post.
((((((BA)))))))) how could I forget to hug you? you made me laugh about getting delivery man's number. just because he's younger than you doesn't mean a thing!! I hope you're having a beautiful thanksgiving!
One more thing... I've started wondering recently whether or not maybe B is waiting for ME to set the pace of communication. Right after the bomb I told him, "I'll call you when I"m ready to talk," and then, I never did. (he sent the key package, and then I called him to thank him for it.) So... I wonder if he still thinks that the ball is in my court for setting the pace? Thoughts?
I've started wondering recently whether or not maybe B is waiting for ME to set the pace of communication. Right after the bomb I told him, "I'll call you when I"m ready to talk," and then, I never did. So... I wonder if he still thinks that the ball is in my court for setting the pace? Thoughts?
I think that yes, you need to take more control of the communication and set the pace yourself. Show him you're interested and don't be worried if he doesn't reply quickly, or in the same way you you'd like him to (not that I think he wouldn't, just have low expectations). I think you need to show him you're interested and open to a closer relationship with him but it's going to take time to do it and to infiltrate all aspects of his mind..... no expecting immediate results of being disappointed if he doesn't respond.
People love people who are interested in them- he might be suspicious at first but just keep going and see if it starts to pay off over the longer term. I don't think you'll lose anything, but there's much to gain. I also don't think there's anything to be worried about in terms of pursuing. You've given him the gift of missing you, and now need to give him the gift of lovely, super-hot and smart thoughtful you!!
Send him a text today- don't worry about it being perfect, just reach out and say hello and be yourself. It's the overall pattern than counts rather than each individual interaction.
Sorry I haven't posted. I have been feeling that in my current state I am unsure about giving DBing advice but I totally agree with Lisa and they were my thoughts when I read your post.
I hope you had a wonderful time with your family. I didn't really know what thanks giving was before but I have to say, now I do, what a wonderful thing to celebrate!
why did I go to grad school??) I do need to call him before I actually show up in new york mid-december, at least to give him some advance notice.
I hope you're having a beautiful thanksgiving!