LD = Sounds to me like you are doing fantastic. I think you have a real grasp on what you are facing. This is her journey. She must make her way through this. It should be obvious by now that she is not rational. I'm sure she is confused and now sees that you aren't crumbling but actually getting stronger, showing your moral strength as well as your character. The OM? He is nothing but a band aid that will not fix her problem. She'll see it sooner or later.

Keep hanging tough.

Me- 47
W- 45
Married 22 years
Together 30 years
No Kids, 1 dog, 1 Cat
2005 - 2007 W in MLT
1/08 - Crisis hits
3/08 W drops Bomb and leaves in the middle of the night. Admits to PA
4/08 W files for divorce
8/08 Divorce final