Hi Dudess: Interesting that you should mention how she would back off in the past...she seems to be doing so again..though, honestly, over the last few months I've learned enough to know that her "kind" behavior should not be assumed to be genuine...as it's often been masking some scheme or another...Still, she was kind this morning when dropping off S2 - and even called before coming by to make sure it was a good time to drop him off - something she never does.
When she came by I was cheerful and just thrilled to have S2 with us again for the day - since we're off to a farm this morning to pick our own veggies - and S11 is very excited about getting some farm-fresh eggs to eat (and mix into) our pancake mix tomorrow morning...
I don't have a lot of time to post - so that will be it for now...have to get the boys ready for a long drive to the farm...
btw...I think you're right, Dudess, she doesn't quite see to grasp the distinction between validating her feelings/point of view - and agreeing with her...it was a problem that started when we were in T...and I think I went too far in validating her point of view...so much so that she had our MC convinced that I was an abusive husband...and that's all we worked on in there...until I flat out said to our MC - "don't you see that I'm trying to validate her point of view so she can feel safe? Do you really believe everything she says about me?" And our MCl said that she took everything at face value in there - and that she assumed that if things were bad in the office, they were probably ten times worse at home...which, of course, my W took to mean that I am ten times worse at home...okay...I really do have to run now...the boys are starting to get a little nuts (in a good way) in the living room.
