The results are in...Dust myself off & start again

[Treese]

HI everyone....

D21 is leaving this a.m... :(....I will miss her but she will be back before Christmas..
Yesterday was another slap in the face....can't I just have one weekend to breathe...

H said he was coming over to spend time with the kids....well..he came about 2 and was sitting on the couch with S11 while I finished the tree...no words were exchanged....D16 was packing clothes to go to a friends...when I told her her dad was coming she said, "I need to get out of here...I feel weird around him now since I texted him on how I feel"...well, D16, D21, her boyfriend and I sat in the kitchen forever while H was in the living room with son...the girls didn't want to be around him....but we were laughing in the kitchen...I'm sure he heard us but never said anything...

I went and took a shower and said I was going out...I looked hot...lol....left at 5:15....at 9:45 I get a text from H saying he worked out a budget and he needs me too look over it so he can take it to court on Thursday...I called him and said how did you pay for the Attorney? He said he signed over his expense check and a bonus check....I said, "we are struggling and you are hiding money"....he said, "I have to be represented"...ok, fine....

He then proceeded to tell me that he doesn't think she is doing this to be vindictive....WTF...I said, "take your F****** blinders off"...she most certainly is....that good person you say she is, she isn't .....I called her a B****....so then he said, "well, she probably figures we are far enough along in our divorce that she wanted to get her share"..her family is doctors, she has her own house, money in the bank...etc...get my drift here... He said, "well, you would want me to pay for our kids"....no kidding, I've been MARRIED to you for 24 years....

Someone please tell me what in the world he is thinking....

Then he told me that he might get a second job to help pay for stuff...like his divorce...so he will not be able to take my son on any weekends either....

Then, I said, dont' you miss D21...he said, "yes but she wont talk to me", what else can I do....I can't freak out about it cause I have to work"....

So, I got home last night and D21 saw me crying and I was explaining what was going on....I said to her, "he is your dad, he does love you"...she said, "I don't care...I have nothing to say to him....we'll be fine without him in our lives, I"ve already accepted that..." she was ticked off at him....

Folks,I now he is hurting, I know he is sad...I even said that to him...I said, "I'm sorry the girls won't talk...I wish there was something I could do"...I got no response....CAUSE HE'S NOT SORRY!

I guess this will put a huge strain on he and OW...ohhhh, so sorry....he's not going to have much time for her at all....The green grass is starting to look brown....or as my brother says, "he's lost in the Tall grass".....

I guess reality hits on Thursday....H says he can appeal, that he doesn't have to agree with what she wants....OMG....someone smack him in the head.....that the county figures are not written in stone...WTF? so he also thinks thats going to be the case when we get D.....that he deserves to live....and I will not get as much as I think....his words....not mine....


Advice anyone...besides I'm screwed.....

and I still love him....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....I did tell H I must be really stupid......