Wow, sorry about the hayride for your D. Maybe you can do something this evening to make it up to her....or tomorrow. I agree that if the W did not tell you that she tried to get the driver to wait....then she did what she did on purpose to make you look bad in front of the child, but it was the child she hurt. Just shows you that AWAW's don't think correctly and can't see through the fog. She may have been trying to sneak in a secret call while your back was turned or maybe she was caught up in her "daydreams" until she just wasn't watching what was going on. Sounds crazy, but you never know. Was she ticked off at you for some reason that she was getting back at you? Guess it doesn't matter now.
It will be very trying for you at times like this to let it roll off your back. If you can do that and focus on spending a special evening with your D to make up for missing the hayride, then I don't think the W will feel she "won" anything on that little game and hopefully won't try it again. Whereas, if you threatened her and told her she better never pull a stunt like that...yada, yada, yada.....it would turn into a battle of the "wills". It takes the patient of Job in the Bible to deal with us WAW's.
Come here and vent out your frustrations anytime it starts to build up. Rather you do it at me than at her. I can take it...but that isn't to say I won't have a few words of my own.....LOL! Don't give up, keep thinking "why" you are putting up with her cr@p.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
We talked...I told her that I thought she did it on purpose. I did not threaten her...I don't threaten her ever. I told her emotions are raw right now for both of us. I think we will both be more careful.
She was not ticked off...we had been getting along ok.
Good job. Yeah, I know you have to be exhausted. But that is why a lot of good men give up is b/c they get so tired. That is why I encourage you to try to let it all run off your back and stay focused on you and the daughter.
Sounds like the evening is wrapping up in a positive move. Get a good night's sleep and start brand new tomorrow.
Best wishes, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi, thanks. I'm still in but it is getting harder to figure out why. I can begin to see that my M and W I knew is over. I'm not sure the new W is worth it.
Sandi, thanks. I'm still in but it is getting harder to figure out why. I can begin to see that my M and W I knew is over. I'm not sure the new W is worth it.
JWM, Never posted to you before, but if your W is in her room in the dark with the door locked, You can bet that she's not been in contact with OM.
It's WD. And it's not pretty. And it will be VERY hard for her to maintain. But if she can get through the first week or two of NC then she will begin to defog. It will still take a long time, but the first two to three weeks are the hardest part of WD.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
I am sorry that you are going through this. This may not make you feel better right now, but maybe it will help eventually.
I realized that the only way H would ever see that I and our R were not the only sources, not even the major sources of his unhappiness, was for him to leave believing that his leaving would bring happiness.
When they leave, as painful as it is, it does give you some peace. This allows you to focus on yourself and work on yourself. It actually will give you more strength. In the meantime, as you are getting better and better, she will get worse and worse and eventually, her theory will collapse.
Hang in there. I know this hurts, but you will be okay.
