It's official.......what now?

[mishka422]

Yes, men do love to be "needed". Performing AOS is huge for most men I know. Asking for help is NOT my forte. I can't stand to feel like I'm putting anyone out and I hate admitting that I just can't do something. It feels like a failure to me.

Dumb, I know, but that is just the way I'm programmed I guess. I'm working around it. I was planning on asking my cousin's sons if they would come and get the decorations down but I forgot to corner them on Thanksgiving. Now the middle one won't be home from college again until just before Christmas.

This has to be at least the 10th time since we've been S/D'd that I have told Gabe to please not ask Marc to ask me about anything as he doesn't get the message straight and it's not fair to him to be expected to. I have told him every time that I am only asking him to please ask me directly in order to keep Marc from feeling like he has to be responsible for his parent's parenting. That was the only phrase that I could come up with that Gabe may have responded to. Too much explaining or justifying and he shuts down completely!

I'll keep plugging away at it. This is going to stink but I only have to do it for 4 more years (maybe less since Marc really can decide now if he wants to go or not as he's 14). My only hope is that Marc can maintain a good R with his dad and that I can manage to someday have convo's with Gabe about Marc without Gabe immediately going on the defensive. That would be a plus.

Punkt - did you know Gabe got fired? Yes, fired! It's pretty tough for a cop to get fired but he managed it beautifully. Now he's working at a gas station part-time, not paying child support (per an addendum I had added to the settlement agreement to get him to sign the darned thing) until March, not paying any of the joint cc bills (NOT per our agreement but I'll give him until next month), not doing much of anything to help support his son. He has completely destroyed everything he once held dear in his life and for what? Oh well, I can't be bothered with his trauma - I have enough of my own.