My husband just recently moved in his O/W...He has not called once to check on us...I called him to ask about my child support chit chatted for about 15 minutes... that was 3 weeks ago.
It is like.... he is so over me...us.... I feel used after 25 years of marriage....he just disgarded us like trash... I have been really depressed lately... take meds but they dont seem to help when I get home..
Dont know if I should call him I miss his voice.... but I guess he and the O/W are really happy now that they are finally together after 1 1/2 yrs of dating....
Letting go is so hard and I know I have to... just wish he would call me sometime....
He yanked my chain for 1 1/2 yrs telling me he did not know what he wanted but he knew all along.....her moving there took somr planning...she had been at her job for over 5 yrs. so it must of taken lots and lots of planning...
He just used me all that time he fell back in love with her like he was 13 yrs. ago he cheated with her then to... maybe they were meant to be together... Can someone just give me some comfort I really need it right now _________________________ M-53 H-46 M-24+YRS BOMB-10/14/07 2-S 2-D Grandkids-7 Greatgrand kid-1 He needs space... Wants to start fresh new life W O/W Moved in his O/W Oct.08
M-53 H-46 M-24+YRS BOMB-10/14/07 2-S 2-D Grandkids-7 Greatgrand kid-1 He needs space... Wants to start fresh new life W O/W Moved in his O/W Oct.08
He probably will not be in contact with you for awhile and this moving in business is new and exciting for them. In time, and it may take while, it will wear off.
Try not to call him unless it is an emergency or has to do with your kids.
Chances are, he will not talk to you while ow is around.
I can imagine how difficult this is for you.
When my h first moved out over two years ago, he did not come around for a few weeks and then he began coming over on weekends. I did have contact with him and still do but to not have contact at all is so foreign to me.
I hope and pray for the best for you and your family.
Try and keep yourself busy around the kids/grandkids, etc. It is hard at first but you will get thru it.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Thanks you... I value you opinion and advice for you have been thru alot with your husband for a few years now....
I want to thank you for directing me to rejoice ministries it has been a blessing to me and my faith has become stronger... I feel as though she has walked into my life.. I have feelings of jealousy...like we were disgarded like trash....I have many mixed feelings even to the point of me questioning my future with him...
I will leave it up to God.... the hilodays are going to be hard though....should I call him to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving????
M-53 H-46 M-24+YRS BOMB-10/14/07 2-S 2-D Grandkids-7 Greatgrand kid-1 He needs space... Wants to start fresh new life W O/W Moved in his O/W Oct.08
I read a long time ago they don't want to be around us now. If they did they wouldn't have left. They are actually repulsed by us and our contact makes them uncomfortable for a variety of reasons, one often being guilt. This may be disguised as anger toward us.
If there is a future for you and your H it is down the road, maybe years down the road.
I know this isn't what you want to hear (I didn't when I heard it) but as time passes this will ring true.
Try not to think of him, maybe you can imagine him to be on a long trip. Get a life, work on yourself.
Holidays are tough but you can do this.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
I thank you for your response...but it is very hard to think of them being in love and enjoying each others time together...I have lots of feelings of jealousy.... I have never been jealous... but now it just something I think about all the time...
I feel very used, mad, I want to srike back some how.... but I know that will get me nowhere...
I just want to feel human again....laugh more and I am getting there....just a slow process..
You think I would be over this but he lied since the begining...he knew exactly how all this was going to work out for them..
She quit a job she was at for over 5 yrs...I guess they are pretty sure of the love they have for each other...
I know I will survivie as the song says... but it is a slow and hard process....
M-53 H-46 M-24+YRS BOMB-10/14/07 2-S 2-D Grandkids-7 Greatgrand kid-1 He needs space... Wants to start fresh new life W O/W Moved in his O/W Oct.08
Now that I look back, H never missed any holiday since all of this began, but he did not acknowledge my birthday or anniversaries.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I, You've been given wonderful advice. Do not call him unless it's an absolute emergency about the children. You will now need to learn how to handle the day-to-day activities on your own. Yes, you are now in the roles of both parents.
Your h is in what they call the honeymoon stage or euphoric stage. It's going to take a while for the both of them to realize that the day-to-day routine is going to over take them in this stage. Right now, it's peaches and cream with a cherry on top. Settling in and actually being responsible people will take a while, but they both will come to realize that the fantasy can't last forever. Time is on your side in this area.
So, while they are playing house, you will need to keep the focus on you and your children. Start making some plans for the holidays, i.e., create new memories, make new traditions and just leave the runaway child out on the street. He'll be just fine.
Eventually, your "child" will become curious as to why "mom" hasn't called or made attempts to contact him or have him come over. When he does start sniffing around, do not tell him what you've been up to. Keep the focus on the children. He's going to need to learn that you are a wonderful person who has a lot to offer. He gave up the right to know what you are doing when he walked out the door.
He will try to push your buttons, don't take the bait. He will play the pity party as well...don't fall for it. Keep an eye on your assets at all times.
It's a long, hard road, but you will survive and become wiser along the way. You must might be surprised at what you can do on your own. I know he will be surprised when he does peek out again.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
She is correct. That fantasy/living arrangement will wear off. It might take awhile, though.
Let me share with you what my H told me. He said that in the beginning it was exciting, fun, etc. but you come to your senses and the reality is that it is all just an illusion. He hinted twice this year, that it has not been a bed of roses over there.
Just do what you have to do for you and the kids. It is a day to day kind of living. It will take some time but you will get thru this like many of us who have been at the stage you are in now.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
He wants everyone to believe he is happy. He has temporary moments of happiness, until he looks in the mirror occassionally.
My ex has told me he is miserable. Happiness can be found only from within. Not from another person.
My ex has told me that they fight all the time. He has even referred to her as "bimbo".
You are what is important right now.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
