Maybe I should be in piecing part 4?

[Hope4us]

Okay......caught up. It's not the son.....it's the wife.....and you would be moving back "home" and that is where son wants to go and it's the wife using S16 as her excuse to stay.

Four nights out of every week apart.....

If she needs a male to feed her ego to build her self esteem etc, etc, etc, ........what is going to happen if you leave her for 4 nights out of every week?

I have to agree with the other women here......I think you need to break it down to her in black and white and explain it like it is. Wouldn't it be so sad if everything was on the very tip of working out and then this move distroyed everything due to lack of communication about all the facts?

Oh well, I've said enough. I think you are so tired of all of it that you are almost ready to walk away yourself. I hope you won't.

Take care,
Sandi

P.S. TO PUPPY........I don't think I explained myself well about the WW comment. I never remember you calling me that. I am just sensitive about that term b/c of my own guilt and pain. It hurts to hear us called some of the things that we are called, but it is the truth......and it doesn't feel too freeing.....if you know what I mean. Oh shoot, you know I love ya!

Thank you for the comments Sandi. I know you used to post to me and I completely value your insights. I know we haven't seen eye to eye on a couple things (like exposure) but I still read what you write on others threads because I find so much value in them. I just think that every situation is different and some of the things I've done (and others) would probably not have worked in your sitch and I respect that. But being that every sitch is different, I feel that things CAN be right for one and not the other.

Yes, S16 is not making the decision to move. OMW told me that OM would possibly be moving back here next year this time so I HAVE to move. If W doesn't want to come, so be it, but there is no way I can live here if OM returns. Even if W and I put our marriage back together, I would NEVER feel safe with the POS around her every day at work. And I would SMOTHER her. And I don't want to be like that and I'm SURE she doesn't want me to be like that.

Yes, being apart for 4 nights a week concerns me. I wonder sometimes that my traveling for work so much in the year and a half before our move (and her meeting OM) was a contributing factor to her A. So us being apart 4 nights a week for 4 months or so is not a good idea.

I plan on breaking it down to her in black and white. I haven't yet because I still don't know exactly when this job transfer will happen. I figure I'll wait until I know the details and then sit her down and explain how I'm feeling. In a way, it's good. It'll be my chance to explain my feelings and if she doesn't understand them or WON'T understand my side of things it will be very telling and I will make my decision then as to what my path forward will be.

And you're right. There are a number of times recently where I've been almost been ready to walk myself. But then she'll do something or we'll have a really good day and it gives me a renewed energy to continue on. Thing is, I think the only way we DON'T make this work is if I give up because I can't go on any longer. But the question is, will I be strong enough to give her the time she needs?

Again Sandi, thanks for posting. I really appreciate it.

P.S. To the WW vs. W comments. I feel like a woman (or man for that matter) is a WS until they are no longer in their A. You could make the arguement that a spouse is still a WS until their fog clears. It's the wayward way of thinking that needs to go before they truly earn the F (former) tag. But you'll notice, I quit using the WW term to describe my W after that exchange that went on between you, Pup and myself a while back. At the time I came to the decision to drop the wayward portion when referring to my W because of how it made ME feel towards her, not because of her fog clearing or anything like that.