I am swimming in Soap Suds!

[kelaaron]

MT-The Santa Clause, my favorite movie, well one of them. I just love Christmas. I think BG is right that he wants you to ask him to come back. Probably.

I'll say this about it though. Unless you are willing to be the wife who accepts and allows the mistress on the side, I wouldn't do it yet. There are plenty of women who can and do do that. H's GF had plenty of GF and there was no secret to it. When he lost his liscense for DUI, he would have his daughter drive him to GF house. Everyone knew. You have read alot of the history there, did it really sound like a happy place to be? But enough said about that. Only you know and I don't think you want to be that woman for the rest of your life.

So keep doing what you are doing. He is uncertain of how you feel about him right now. You changed the rules even if he was the one who left in a huff. But you've done a good job of telling him you do love him, you do want him, it is ok for him to come by and call, you have left the door open and you have explained to him why you aren't begging him to come back yet. You feel you have left the ball in his court, but he is waiting for you to serve again. I would ask him where he is staying. You already know what you think, so the answer won't be too bad if that is what it is, and you may be surprised that it isn't. Ask him if he is eating, sleeping, etc... No not great DB advice but it does show interest, concern, and love, and I think he is really confused by you not asking right now. Try not to let him see or hear you cry right now though. There is a time for that and it will be later. The goal is to have him home, with no other woman, really working on the M. He can't just come back and pretend it never happened and you can't either. In the end, I think you will have to extend the olive branch for him to return. You will know when it is time to do it. Not just out of lonliness for you or concern for how he is doing, but when it is right for the M to begin to progress. Just remember that for now, come here still with the confusion, the anger, the sadness. We will share with you. Through all of this, you have done great work, shown incredible strength and patience. You are still doing the work by getting more books whose principles you will be able to apply to any R. But you are doing the work. He is still living in a fantasy world. He has to do a little of it too.

Love you sweetie. You can do this. So any Christmas shopping done yet? I have hardly started mine. I'm usually done before Halloween LOL