Wife have moved out with my son..........now what

[sandi2]

Hi again. You can post to as many people as you want to. You can go all over the board to as many forums as you want and talk to everyone you want to. But, your "thread" is like your home (so to speak) or your address here on the DB board's community. So, if you have so many threads or addresses in different forums....it is hard to know which place to go. Does that make sense? Of couse as our story changes, we may want to move our "thread" to a different place or forum....and that is okay also. But when you do, just let us know, so we can find ya...lol. Just makes is less confusing....that's all.

Okay about some things you asked....

I am still snooping through her blog....yes I am ready for your 2x4s.

Well, this is the Thanksgiving holidays,so I don't think I'll do any 2x4's (lol). Seriously, I know if it were me in your shoes....I would have a hard time not looking to see what she is saying. I think she is very brazen. I am just thinking that YOU are the one that gets hurt when you read what she has posted.

Here is what she said:
I had fall in love for the last time in my life. (Of course she means the OM...not me), So for this reason I will not marry again.
I felt a bit bummed because I liked being in denial.
I do want a boyfriend, but I think my expectations are a little high. I don't want a husband...just a boyfriend for life. If that makes sense. We should have a lot in common, such as equal intelligence, the same interests, and a really good sense of humor goes a long way. I have more, but the list would be way too long, so I stay undecided at the moment. I don't think there is anyone out there who have someone like me. I am not pathetic; I am high maintenance to a degree.

What do make out of this?
I guess she is still in fog....

First of all, she may not have been referring to the OM when she said she had fallen in love for the last time. Or....that could have just been a jab at him if they are off again---on again. The reason I think she was talking about you being her last time to fall in love is b/c of her connection with falling in love for the last time and marriage. Now the rest of what I am going to say about that blog quote of hers is strickly a first impression I had when I read it.

Okay, here is the hard part that I am going to tell you......even if it is Thanksgiving......and it is not pretty and you will not feel good when I tell you this....okay? It reminds me of what I read when I would go on an adult (how shall I say this?).....hook-up....friend finder type of web site. I don't know if you have ever looked at any of them. I only did one, but a person can post their picture (if they want to) or not, but they give a "profile" and it almost sounds like an ad in a newspaper. Then if somebody reads your profile and wants to chat with you by email or IM, they let you know....then it goes from there. That is exactly what it reminded me of when I read what she posted on her blog. But here comes the nasty part. I learned a term during my days of the adult chat board, and it was usually a married man or woman that didn't want to get a divorce but wanted to have the action on the side. Sometime it was a person that was not M and just wanted the sexual action and nothing "serious" as far as a R. They used the phrase, F--- Buddy. That is very plain, but when she said she just wants to have a "boyfriend" and not get M, well that is what came to mind as my first thoughts.

My second thought is that she is making a jab at the OM and maybe she just wants to continue the "fantasy" of feeling the in-love stuff and has decided it can only be outside of M. But, who knows what she may have truly meant? Tomorrow, she may have something completely different.

Another question: I noticed every time my W contacts me is the same time that the OM has resurfaced. Why is that...?? Is it because she is in happy mood so drop me a note out of pity?

I certainly don't belive it is out of pity! If she was still under the same roof with you, I would say it was b/c she got her "fix" from her drug of choice (the OM feeding her ego), but since she is S from you......I'm just not sure. You know...that fog business!

As far as now, we pretty much only communicate mostly regarding on son or business.

Good!

As for me, I am busy Dbing, GAL and work on myself.

That the way to do it!!

There is long laundry list that I am working on.
Hopefully I can become a better, more compassion person.

I hope you meant that this is for YOU and improving yourself and becoming a better person. You can be compassionate, but don't be a doormat, either.

I don't know enough, really, to make this prediction about your wife, b/c you are new on the board, but I say this based upon other material I have read. I am concerned that she is on a downward spiral and that she is going to go through a bad time of it....and may even jump from man to man before she hits bottom. She is trying to hang onto that wonderful "high" that she gets when a person first falls in love. It isn't true love and therefore it doesn't last. So, out with the old man....go look for a new man.

It could be that she just wants to experinece living what she thinks would be a fun "single's" life. But again, she is in for a rude awakening. So, you are doing the right thing by focusing on YOU and getting a life for you. Dropping the rope and moving on is the best thing for you right now. If she gets through the fog and she wants to come home.....you may not want her anymore. That happens a lot of times. But, you have to take care of you....and of course your son. I wished he was with you b/c I don't think he may be in the environment he should be in. But, I am doing a lot of guessing b/c I don't know this for sure.

I'll check in on you soon.

Sandi