BG-honey, you know what I think about him. You know I and the others will support you in whatever you decide to do. But it is up to you, we can't tell you the answer.
I know you have it in your heart to love this child and share your life with him.
But do you have it in your heart to forgive H for the lies. To be able to trust him again. To be able to stop being mad at him everyday. He can answer all of the questions you ask and you may still not find those answers there. You need to sit, breathe, maybe take some time out, away from the whole thing and just be. You will be able to decide what you can and cannot do if you just let yourself. Stop analyzing for a little while. Put on some soothing music and soak in a hot tub and don't THINK about ANYTHING. Clear your mind. Eventually, you will know in your heart what is right for you, your kids, your H and your M. But you have to get your head out of the process for that to happen.
You know where I am. I'll call tomorrow to check on you.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
