tying another knot #8

[The Wifey]

idk, anyone from here who has talked to me, knows i have made up new words for him, hate him, want to rip his "boys" off, and still love him.

soooooooooooooooooo many questions. i dont know if i can make any decision until I get some answers! I already know his son, but idk if i can deal with her, and she WONT let H see him around me.

it just so sucks. this crap is BS and it makes my lupus so much worse, the stress.

Guess what? As much as she won't allow this, this is HIS son. And he has rights. And if his manhood were attached it would be up to him who could see or not see HIS son.

It is BS. It is absolute BS.

Now you know what kind of hold she had over him. And you know that she kept it on the down-low and hidden for a long time. This tells me that she knew that SHE screwed up and she was now vulnerable. She had to keep a hold for her son's sake.

[lost_in_space]

(((BG)))

You ask a question that only you can answer. Only you know what is right for you. Only you know what you can / cannot tolerate in your life. Only you... Prayer may help you sort through that. I will offer you that!

Take time BG, take time. Time is yours.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((BG))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Babygirl]

i have no idea, i so seriously am confused and blah. sigh it would be easier if someone would just tell me what to do lol

[kelaaron]

BG-honey, you know what I think about him. You know I and the others will support you in whatever you decide to do. But it is up to you, we can't tell you the answer.

I know you have it in your heart to love this child and share your life with him.

But do you have it in your heart to forgive H for the lies. To be able to trust him again. To be able to stop being mad at him everyday. He can answer all of the questions you ask and you may still not find those answers there. You need to sit, breathe, maybe take some time out, away from the whole thing and just be. You will be able to decide what you can and cannot do if you just let yourself. Stop analyzing for a little while. Put on some soothing music and soak in a hot tub and don't THINK about ANYTHING. Clear your mind. Eventually, you will know in your heart what is right for you, your kids, your H and your M. But you have to get your head out of the process for that to happen.

You know where I am. I'll call tomorrow to check on you.

[Startingover2]

It would take alot to get past this. He seems to have omitted this important detail for a long time. One Im Sorry just doesn't cut it.

Nobody says you have to make a decision today. You take all the time you need.

((BG))

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I am telling you it was just amazing. I am going to email the church and ask them to let me know when they get it uploaded, so I can pass it on to you guys. i know I struggle so hard with the whys, and not the faith that god will get me thru it, or what his plan is. i have to trust in him in everything, not for everything, because the time will come, when me, and you, we will walk out of the why, and we will survive, and have the knowledge, and the truth that god didnt let us go, he carried us all through it. maybe part of my whole real sitch is also with god, as my church experience with exh had totally made me run from church, YOU my friends here, got me back into touch and my relationship with god, and a different healing, than the best I am sorry from my H could ever give me. and I do believe god is working, and he hasnt left me. I thank you all for that.

had to repeat this. I am very happy for your walk back with God. remember the footprints poem....when there were only one set of footprints, he was carrying you.

hey, I don't have time to finish all the thread probably, but I wanted to say I'm sorry I didn't get a hold of you again. I forgot my charger so I couldn't call anyone as my phone was dead, and I had no numbers, plus, I didn't have time to see even my dad, so I'm sure I couldn't have done anything anyways. I hope things have gotten better since we spoke last, I know you've got a really huge struggle ahead of you, but I know you can persevere through this and God will help you the whole way thru.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

wow, now I see I'm like 10 pages behind. definitely can't finish that! It sounds as if your having problems with the OW in regards to the son. I will figure it out later.

I want to tell you, that God can give you the strength to do anything. The bible states that in infidelity you have grounds for divorce, but we also know that God is a forgiving God and he sent his son as an example to us, so that we can also be forgiving. I totally agree that you don't need to make any decision right now, but no matter what route you choose, you must learn to forgive for yourself. not for H. Lean on God, and pray for him to give you the strength to forgive. It does not mean you condone what he did, but that you let go of the hurt and that you recognize that he is an imperfect being, someone that we all are, and that God is the only one that will never let us down, nor will he ever hurt us. I will continue praying for you.

[marriedCrazy]

((((((BG)))))))

Talk to your pastor.

Pray about the situation. Only God can help you with this decision. I think the others have stated it well. this boy didn't ask for this sitch either. Listen to your heart and what God places upon it for your decision.

I'm praying for you as well.

Take care sweetie.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I just read it. and I read his last email. did you ask him why he didn't say sorry or ILY? those were both the things you wished he had said, however, the first email did say all those things, maybe not in those words, but everything he said meant it.

I can't say what I would do since I have not been in your shoes. But if I had to make a guess, I would probably say yes, I would stay with him. BUT, this is where HE gets to prove to you. You do not need to make any decision right now. You could even say you'd like to start working on friendship right now, not the M. Right now, this is still about you taking care of you. That is something that needs to be done whether or not you take him back. and in the meantime he can be proving himself to you. You can tell him the boundaries that you feel are appropriate for an R to ever work and if he does not want to abide by them, well, you can say bye. IMHO, I think he has struggled so much for so long, and he has been cruel to you because of what he's done. I know it sounds so wrong, but it's always the people that we love that we allow our stress and anger to fall upon, and many times we do it unconsciously. I truly believe your H is finding repentance and you must, at some point, find it in your heart to accept it. Just pray for God to show you how. I believe you can have such a wonderful M, better than you ever had if you both put the effort in. I believe that he does want to put the effort, but he is still scared as well. It is going to be hard, for both of you.

my heart goes out to you, and you know we all love you and want you to be happy. I believe you can and will be. I'm so sorry I couldn't get ahold of you this week. I should have stopped by.

(((Baby)))

[Babygirl]

crissy here is what he said about the no i am sorrys or i love you in the bomb email. and thank you all for your continued love and support, i couldnt be doing this without ya'll
god bless you



I took this from my email from yesterday“My feelings now are I want to work things out and just maybe by getting these road blocks out of the way” what it should have said was by getting these road blocks out of the way maybe we can save us. And yes you are right there was not a sorry in there. There should have been many of them. Traci I am sorry, I am sorry that I have caused you this pain, you have nothing in your life to deserve this. I have crossed many lines and put you in many bad situations, I have been very selfish and un carring, iv never meant to make you go through your sickness on your own, but in a way you have kept me from some of that. I have put many things ahead of you and our family and that is something I would like to work on. Yes I want this to work, and yes I left the sorrys out of that email yesterday, I didn’t mean to do that, I was extremely worried about just sending you that email. Last night I wanted you to just go to bed with me so I could hold you. yesterday I just wanted to be at home, but I needed to be at work, not just for month end but because of the 2 new guys. It was hard for me to leave last night, I didn’t go to her house, I slept in the Durango. I just needed sleep, I barley got any the night before, I felt like crap and most of all just stressed. I know you are way more stressed than I am, im sorry for leaving you there on your own. I am going to try to leave here a little early. I am very sorry, I know it is hard to see and belive but I do love you and over the last several months I have been falling more in love with you, I know I have put more on your plate then you may be able to handle and for that I am sorry. I realize the road ahead is and will be the hardest either of us has ever had to face. I am sorry I messed up your holiday, but I didn’t see it as a complete loss, I still thought we could have thanks giving together with our family, to me we have much to be thankful because I see this as a possible new beginning for us and our family, I know its tuff and I know I have pushed you to your max load but maybe we together can find a way to salvage us. Im sorry and I do love you.