Not sure how to answer that. In a rage, I moved all of our stuff back into our old room 2 weeks ago and we had been sleeping in the same bed until last night when we had a bit of a blow up.
After the blow up we went to bed in separate rooms but I came back into her room after we had had the chance to cool off and caressed her head until she was asleep. I know from experience that this does a great job of pacifying her and this morning she woke up in a better mood.
The argument was purportedly about something trivial (bathroom) but I sense that W was angry because I deleted all of OM's SMS messages off her mobile phone from when they began the affair. Last week she was cross that another woman had been texting me (a former coworker) and although I have no romantic interest in her - W wanted her messages and her details deleted. W said "it's inappropriate that she would be texting a married man like that. She's a skank and hanging around like a bad smell". Very deranged and twisted logic, but if it offends her that this person's number is on my phone then I respect her decision to delete it. No problem.
Then when I did the same she got very angry but said nothing more than "it's my history" and "I wasn't ready to have them deleted" - probably because she knows how much of a hypocrite she would sound if she said anything more. I don't give two f#*!s whether she "isn't ready" or not. I am negotiable on virtually everything but not this - their presence on her cellphone was deeply offensive to me.
W had to get an operation done on her face today so I took her into the hospital and waited for her. I probably wouldn't have done this in the past and would have done something negligent like go surfing instead.
For some reason she has really been truculent and spoiling for a fight these last few days. This in spite of us hanging out together a lot and emailing each other throughout the day.
W is now talking in terms of us having a future together - i.e. heading back to Europe where I have a job offer and buying a home. She has also been emailing universities about courses in the city where the job is. Strangely, I have very mixed feelings about all this.
But, I am watching her like a hawk. I have access to all of her email accounts and a few other accounts also. I hate to have to do this but I need to be able to trust her. She has agreed to NC with OM but I really require much more than just her words.
Still silent on threats, ultimatums and the like but I have my ducks lined up to leave. Heaven knows what I am still hanging around for. Michele is right in her DR book that sometimes one will doubt one's sanity by continuing to fight for a marriage during an active affair.
There is also more I can write about what's happened but that will need to wait for now...
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
