Doing what got me this far.

[steady]

lol Tim. It was my bringing up my frustration at not following through on the MC's telling us to have a date night every week that started the giant snowball rolling into a 3 hour sink throwing, missile firing, grenade tossing, flame thrower, dirty nuclear bomb full assault on me by my W. lol

It was my expectations - I expect her to want to spend time with me and when she consistently chooses other things my a$$ gets in my own way. But I am learning.

Working very hard right now on GAL. I need that - it will take me out of the whirlwind that is my W. She's a freakin twister one second, then pure sunshine the next. Was an insane evening last night - I woke up this morning feeling like I woke up in a totally different universe. It was the weirdest feeling I've ever had.

Funny how we parallel.

Next time one of the moments happen - ask for the hug. But have no expectations on getting it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking - I ask my W and she is always receptive. Sometimes she even initiates it lately. (I'm not talking about the hello/goodbye hugs that we've doing for quite a while) The worst your W could say is no. If you feel it get awkward after you ask - you can even add: "It's ok if you don't want to. And I only want you to if it's something you want to do." This way you won't have the - did she do that only because I asked and she felt obligated or did she do it because she really wanted to question that will arise in your head.

I went through this with my W at one point. Told her I don't want her to say or do anything out of some 'obligation' because I don't want to have to question her motivation. This conversation came up after she said in MC that she was doing certain things so she wouldn't 'hurt my feeling'. I told her I don't need her pity and would rather her do what she wants to do. So after that I had the why did she do that question in my - that's when I sat her down and had the conversation with her.

You have to chisel out the time for you and your W. If you don't that time will fill up with something else - as I'm sure you know. Make a date (after talking with your W about it) and then make sure the coast is clear - like Mike said - baby sitter, talk to the kids, etc... Clear the path so you guys can follow through on the date.