Giving up when not sure if it's WAW, MLC or both?

[whitneypinch]

Oh my god,
This whole thread is my WAW as well. She is 34 but had done everything you have said. We have been apart for a year now. I have not brought up out R until today. I have DBed to a T and yes I have had some backslides. I just got feed up of not being heard and constantly hurt by my W so I spilled the beans. I basically explained how I stood for our M and our family. For god's sake we have 2 little kids. She basically unloaded back to me that I was so selfish when we were M that she fell so out of love with me that she NEVER has the interest in recapturing that. She acknowledges what a great dad I now am and all the great things I do now. She feels that the kids will be great and everything is fine now. We will be divorced in a few weeks officially. I am just disgusted that we don't even talk about this. It's been a year and she has not said a word about it. We are friendly and see each other ever few weeks because of the kids. We do drop offs and pick-ups at school. Everyone of her friends say she is not seeing anyone but I don't quite believe it.
Oh, BTW if she has gone Brazilian there is a good chance someone else is involved. I am so sorry to say that.
We are living in a throw away culture now where everyone is chasing that elusive 'happiness" rainbow. I think all the DBing we do can only help us. If our spouse wants to come back they will, if they don't thy won't.
I read these boards everyday with the hope that I can understand my WAW better. I will never understand this. I do understand that most of us DAM were major causes of unhappiness but what happened to commitment. Listen, no one should ever have to put up with unhappiness but for "F" sake try to do everything possible before you WAW. I have spoken to a number of divorced women who have said that if their H did all the work I have done and completely changed for the best...that they would at least talk to their ex. I did not get any talk. She is wonderful and nice to me and we get along better than ever but just has no interest in anything. So, some of us married the wrong person. On my first T session my T yelled at me for not listening to my W. On my second session she said our marriage ended because my W basically lacked commitment. Commitment that our M and family was important. Commitment enough to at least explore alternatives to a D.