I screwed up again

[AnotherNightmare]

Beth,

I have not run a 5k for a while except as an interval preparing for the marathon that I had to cancel. As a training run, I finished it in a little less than 20 min, which I think is something like a 6:20 mile (I am still keeping everything in metric, sorry). My last race before the marathon was a half-marathon (13.1 miles) that I finished under 1:30, which I believe was a 6:48-mile. So my easy training runs are usually 8:00 miles, but right now they are more like 8:20 or 8:25.
BTW, I started the same way, just for fun and with my health in mind. The main reason though I started running was because I did not fit in my suit anymore. So the options were buying a new suit or losing weight. I chose losing weight and started running. I lost 35 lbs in 6 months or so. When I needed the suit (for a wedding), it fit, but now it is a bit too large.

Well, this afternoon I took the kids to buy a Christmas tree. They wanted a Concolor fir. After looking around a bit, I liked it, too. It smells a lot like a basket full of oranges, so I hope the whole house will soon smell like that. We have already put the tree up, but will decorate probably on Sunday.
I do not know how it is with you, but I started thinking this might be the last Christmas tree for us as a family and I got really sad. OTH, my W used to handle all this during the last couple of years (mainly because I was traveling), especially the decorating part, so it is a 180 for me to actually do this all on my own (with a little help from the kids, of course).

With my W gone, the house feels so empty. It feels like I am losing time, but I also think the separation might be a good thing for both of us to get us closer together again. I am really upbeat about her calling twice already, but at the same time I am a nervous wreck when I think about her being closer to OM than me right now. And I am asking myself the same questions that everybody here seems to ask themselves: how and when is going to notice the new me, the changes that I am working on, the new love I feel for her? I guess the answer is patience and trust that it will work eventually. So I hope the best for you as well.

AN