Sounds like a lot of things click, you will have to be the one to make the call. Depression is a huge issue with mlc. The more you learn about it the better. Remember, a common misconception about depression is a person sitting in a corner crying 24hrs. a day. Not so, masked depression is mlc in a way. They will do anything to avoid those awful feelings. Act happy around others, drink, do drugs, party, become workaholics, anything other than dealing with it.
Oh, I forgot to mention 49 yrs. old is very close to 50. This could play a part as well, but as you can see my wife is 29 and she fits MLC to a T. As I understand it, there are transition points in everyone's lives, 30 40 50. Prime time for a crisis if a person is not fully developed.
The emotional suppression could be a factor. With MLC something happens in childhood that hinders the person's developement. As they mature they carry this inside, it is never dealt with properly until they reach a point in life where it rears it's ugly head. They are then force to deal with this childhood issue. They can't help it.
They run off of complete emotion which their not used to dealing with and these are very powerful confusing feelings. Guilt and low self esteem are huge in this too.
Is she forgetful or confused. Will she contradict herself. Sometimes they will resemble someone who suffers from Bi polar disorder.
Perfectionists are prone to depression. Nothing is ever perfect and that is hard for some to accept. MLC'ers will view their spouses as a reflection of them and be very critical, it will start out small and become worse.
Many times they will avoid or distance themselves not only from you, but old friends and family as well. They will then seek out relationships or friendships with others that are usually not the most mature or best or brightest people. Go figure. The affair is very common. Just a quick fix.
The resources are a great place to learn. Read Read Read. If you think it's mlc LISTEN VERY CLOSELY - THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO FOR HER. NOTHING!!!! Nothing you say or do will make her better or help her go through it faster. Do the opposite of what you would normaly think to do. This is a very long journey 3-5yrs. from what others say. She has to deal with this on her own. You have to let her go to find out. If she wants a D make her do everything. I dont know your sitch, but if you are living together now DON'T LEAVE THE HOUSE let her.
I'm fairly new to this perhaps others will chime in with help.
