Hope you are managing things decently on this day. I just wanted to comment and pass along some very brief and unsolicited advice based upon reading H's email. Here goes. For the indefinete future you need to leave your H alone as he has so clearly requested. He wants his space and as a loving spouse you need to grant him that. In my extremely brief, and I can't overstate that enough, observation of where you are at this moment you seem much to clingy and intrusive for his current liking. You are going to need to put into place, if you don't already have, a fortified support system for yourself which does not include H. He needs to be off limits for now but for two remote exceptions a) if he should initiate contact w/ you (& if you do your part he will); b)a loss of limb, no doubt about it emergency .
You would do well to develope some different pattern of self soothing for the short term that maybe involve close friends, family and/or a "teddy bear" plush guy. Anything but H. He needs to go it alone for a bit to reset his "satellites", so you need to show him your love by complying with his wishes. You'll make it fine, just vary your pattern some.
You will be in my prayers. Peace to you and your's & make it a Happy Thanksgiving.
P.S - maybe a lesson learned to not even be tempted to open up emails that could even be remotely emotionally un-doing when in the presence of professional colleagues.
Tomato- thank you for writing to me. We are still in the same house. Really isn't possible for me to just ignore him or not talk to him.
Today I am actually toying with the idea of finding a pet-friendly hotel and going away for the weekend. I have work to take with me and I would keep the phone off. I could email him to let him know I was safe and that is all he needs to know.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.