mish, I am so happy this guy acts normal and shows you genuine interest. I am so happy this guy is not blind and can see what a great person you are. You dont have to force yourself do anything you dont feel comfortable with, but you shouldnt "block" yourself either. Some things are meant to happen... Love ya K
I am so happy this guy acts normal and shows you genuine interest. I am so happy this guy is not blind and can see what a great person you are. You dont have to force yourself do anything you dont feel comfortable with, but you shouldnt "block" yourself either. Some things are meant to happen...
Thanks y'all! You are the best encouragement a girl could have.
PUNKT!!!!!!!!!! My gosh! I thought you disappeared off the face of the earth! Where have you been keeping yourself brother? What's been going on? I'm going to go look to see if you've written anywhere else.
Kalni - you're right. I just don't need to block myself, and I'm not. I am quite able to talk and laugh with anyone and show my personality. That's my "best feature" so I let it shine whenever possible.
Gabe is on his way to pick up Marc. He called me this morning because Marc's phone was turned off to tell me he would be here in 20 minutes and to have Marc stand at the corner since the broom would be in the car with him and he knew I didn't want her around here. I told him that was when we were M'd, now I just don't care what he does. I asked him what this idea about Marc spending the night with him tonight was. He said that he told Marc to ask me if it would be ok for him to spend the night with him since they were going to be kind of late. I told him he needs to ask me these things first before he poses them to Marc. He just doesn't get it at all! He told Marc to ask me - ummmm....hello! He's 14, he takes these things as statements, not questions. He decides what is going to happen and then makes a statement, he doesn't ask. It's not his job to ask anyway, it's Gabes. This is not his weekend and he already asked me if he could have Marc for the day for this thing they're going to. I gave up my day with Marc. Why couldn't he just ask me if he could spend the night? Ummm.....because that would have required thinking first.....DUH! The man puts no thought into what he's doing.
He got all huffy on the phone with me even though all I was saying to him was that he needed to ask me FIRST before he said anything to Marc about a shift in plans. He got stuck on "so do you have plans for him? I'll just bring him back tonight. You can tell him he won't be staying." First, I didn't say he couldn't stay, I said that in the future he needs to ask me first. Second, he doesn't see my point at all. Gee, surprise! The man isn't listening at all to what I'm saying. Say it ain't so! Third, if he wasn't going to be staying, I am not the one that is going to be the bad guy here. Let Gabe tell him.
Anyway, I told him that the point was that he needs to ask me first, that I'm working until 11p tonight so it's not a big deal if he's not home, and that he needs to be back by noon tomorrow. He is such a PITA! I swear, his attitude today just showed me again how glad I am NOT to be M'd to him any longer. I don't need his crap in my life. I have enough other problems, I don't need a 41 year old child to raise anymore.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
The CG news is soooo unbelievably exciting. It has just put a big smile on my face that was otherwise stuck in a frown.
About your h, you know what are issues and what aren't and where you need to put your foot down. Calmly explain to your h what you would like and see how he reacts imo. I see he is still trying to be a bit considerate, as he was considering your feelings by not bringing the broom to your attention. He may be being a DAM, or he may just not know what you want. You may need to help him out a little and then be consistant with that. JMO.
Thank you for being there on my thread. I REALLY appreciate it. Sigh!
P.S - just a random question out of interest is pumpkin pie sweet or savoury??
Regarding Gabe, he threw that tidbit out there as a snide remark, not as being thoughtful. The closest corner is a block away. Like I'm going to send my son a block down the street, bag in hand, because the broom was going to be in the car. Whatever. He said some very hurtful things to me during the entire convo even though I was maintaining my calm and stating facts reasonably. He can't seem to wrap his brain around the fact that he no longer has control of Marc's time. He can't just state what Marc is going to do and expect me to go along with it when it's not his time to have him.
Gabe feels that I talk down to him. I concentrated very hard on what I was saying today to make sure that it DIDN'T sound like I was talking down to him. The fact that he told me to STOP talking down to him says to me that he is programed to believe that EVERYTHING I say is disrespectful. Yes, I have said things to him and spoken to him like he is a child in the past - because he was acting like one! I made a major effort today not to. I wasn't going to say anything at all about the overnight he didn't ask me for but I decided I had to or it would set a precedent.
Whatever....the man doesn't deserve any more of my energy or thought. He made the bed he's in, he'll have to wallow in it.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
((((mishka)))) I LOVE that CG called you and remembered the coffee date. Just keep let him coming to you- I have a good feeling about him!
Gabe is so confusing to me, although I guess that's the MLC talking. I think that putting him out of your mind for now is a really good route to take. Eventually he'll get out of his funk and re-evaluate his behaviour, and you'll be romancing with CG so won't even notice
See CG as a good friend for now. Who knows where things will lead, but right now, he is a friend. And why wouldn't you invite a friend over to help get a box down, then repay with more coffee and maybe a dessert?
You met his kids, other people from his family...he clearly cares about you and enjoys spending time together. Don't let that friendship just die because your schedule changed - it is up to YOU to keep it going! Friendships take thought, consideration and planning. FIND the time to keep in touch, even if by frequent email and text (hey, you've done a great job with us!)
And a man WANTS to help! They are programed for that (right, Mike?). Stop saying you are shy one minute, then do this! :
Quote:
I am quite able to talk and laugh with anyone and show my personality. That's my "best feature" so I let it shine whenever possible.
Marc can help with stuff, too, don't forget.
An idea to make gifts... collect tin cans (you can even ask school to save the big #10 cans). Fill with water and freeze. Bring inside, lay can on its side on a dishtowel folded on the table and hammer in nail-holes in a pretty pattern to make lanterns for candles. You can even get fancy and spray-paint the outside, add glitter, add a wire hanger over the top, etc. Different size cans make a beautiful display.
Sounds like, even if it ended up being exhausting, that you had a good holiday with your family, a tender moment with your son, and a phone call from a dear friend.
Who cares what Gabe did, or does?
When I saw my IC this week and told her how things seem for my X, she said - just wait until January, when there is just more dreary winter stretching ahead for months, and nothing to celebrate or get ready for...
We are on our way up, sister, if we choose to make the climb!
