The next stage, maybe

[mishka422]

(((((((Julia)))))))))

Yes, total schmuck! I'm so sorry he is jerking your chain about all of this.

Yes, he's gotten himself in over his head with his finances and is hoping that your sweet nature will allow him to steamroll over the fact that the interest will keep piling up for the next 8 months. You have to remember though that he is not considering your best interests at all. It's all about him and his needs and wants. You are the "complication" he still has to deal with because of legal issues.

Put your foot down Julia. I know you still love your H and want him to want you too, however he is walking on you love. He is using your love for him to play you a fool. Don't sign this paper unless you can see that it will be an advantage to you in the long run. Remember, you have the advantage of being able to think things through with a clearer head. He's lost in his fog and his apparent OW. His life should be difficult. He should be having a hard time making ends meet. Look what he chose to do. His bad choices need to bit him in the butt so let them.

I know, this sounds really angry doesn't it. I'm angry for you and what he is doing to you. First, he wants to sell the car that was bought for you to learn to drive now he wants to hold back 8 months of house payments because he got in over his head and expects you to look favorably on eating that much interest. The man is clueless and selfish!!!!!!! Deadly combination!

Some might say that him wanting to hold the payments for 8 months could be a sign that he is sorting through his issues and this would take something off of his "worry plate". I would call those people fools though. Sorry to anyone out there that was already thinking that. I wish it were the case, but this just shows a callous disregard for you on his part.

Strategy for handling this? His text was pretty innocuous in all. It wasn't threatening or ugly in any way so I'd say your response needs to be firm but mellow. Don't respond today or even tomorrow though. Let it simmer while you ponder the possible ramifications for his action. Heck, wait until you get the letter from the mortgage co. They can't actually put this into effect without your signature, right?

And, for heavens sakes, don't text him back. This is not a discussion to be having by text. Why is it that these darned people think that tm is the end all, be all these days? CONVERSATION people. Only by the inflection in someone's voice can we really tell what they are thinking and feeling about something. TM is the chicken's way out 9 times out of 10. Don't let him get away with it Julia. You need to actually talk to him after you come to a decision about what to do about this.

You know your finances. You need legal protection from what your H is doing. Is there any way to do that without a D? I don't know of one here but maybe it's different in the UK.

I have nothing but the utmost respect for the way you are handling all of this Julia. I would say that him moving in with (apparent) OW has pushed him to take these actions all at once. I'll bet she's pushing him. Don't let her push you through him, ok?