Sandi, thanks for the post. This is a relatively new situation. I am not forcing her to MC and have completely stopped asking about OM...even though it is hard for me not to say anything.
We were able to talk about her shutting down last weekend and you are right on target. She told me that because I was so upbeat that she got scared that I thought she was back in the marriage. I told her that I understood she wanted out. She felt better, we cooked supper together, and we had a good night.
The same thing happened the next day when I asked about her business. She shut down and started crying. I spoke to her gently and told her I did not intend to cause pain. I was just asking about her day as I've done for a long time. She said she understood, came out of her room and we had a good night with lots of interaction.
Over the last two days, I know she has not contacted the OM in any way...she just has not had any opportunity. She is going out of her way to do small things for me, we are talking, laughing, and doing things together. She is making a lot of eye contact almost as if we are dating again. I am walking that fine line of not being too upbeat, but positive, and never talking about the R. She has even asked where I was last night while she and D7 went to the movies. When they got back she actually watched a football game with me...we had a good time together.
Something has shifted a little, but I'm not getting my hopes up...time will tell.
