Took your advice. there is no doubt I would have regretted not going. It started off like fingernails on a chalkboard and then got comfortable. she looks worn. I could not really look her in the face. I did a few times and she looked at me and thenlooked down, like she was embarassed.

A couple of signs I'd like to post here, they are small, but I feel significant to me.
1. When trying to talk to me, get my attention, she referred to me as "hon". this was what she always called me when we were together. Most likely a slip in the social setting, and i even actually ignored her because i didn't think it was meant for me. FIL noticed it and brought it to my attention. It really had no significance to me until he said it to me.

2. during dinner she sat next to me. the whole other side of the table was empty, she could have sat in the seat farthest away.

3. Had my sone take pictures of everyonesitting down to dinner. i moved myself behind my D so that I wouldn't be noticed. she told me to sit up, i wasn't in the picture. She then slid over closer to me. When the picture was over, she slid back.

4. Sat on the love seat next to me. I could feel my skin crawl.

5. Watching me playing ball with my grandson. she watched me and him the whole time. She was laughing with us and saying remember when you did this our kids when they were younger. she then told everyone how I would come home eat and play with the kids till it was time for bed. she said no matter how bad his day was, he did this. Remember hon?

Baby steps. I figure the social setting is what did it so I am not making plans to move her clothes back or put her pictures back up. OM called her cell phone and she ignored it while she watched me and my grandson playing. FIL had to leave the room at opne point to hold back his tears. He said she was watching you and smiling and laughing and thenshe would look down like she bit into something she didn't like, then go back to watching us. People were asking me about my line dancing lessons and she came out of the kitchen to hear and to see some of my steps. everybody was interested and she jumped inthe conversation how she goes dancing every now and then, but not as much as me. I heard her inthe kitchen constantly saying my name about this and about that. FIL says if you didn't know better, you would have thjought we were still together. My Ds told me that everyone had two comments about me and their mom, your father looks like a million dollarsa dn your mother looks like she is a stress heart attack waiting to ahappen, she's to thin and you can see the alcohol taking its toll on her face. They told other adults the latternot my Ds. Anyway, AmyC, you once again have hit tthis one out of the park, thanks for being stern with me and guiding me to go. I would have regretted this. she suffered yesterday, emotionally, of that there is no doubt, me, I had nothing to lose. But she saw a side of me yesterday she hasn't seen in many years and was commenting on it like it was yesterday, any thoughts on her behavior?