Thanks, I have read your posts. She has been acting and dressing like she was 21 for a couple of years now, so according to opinion, she has been in this for at least 2 years. I was with her at thanksgiving yesterday, for the first time, socially, in over a month. She looks worn, aged. I see what everyone is talking about now. I do not talk about her with anyone, except one friend, unless its here. Yes, I found out stuff got back to her so i clammed up.
Her father had invited me for thanksgiving, way ahead of her and told me yesterday he preffered my company while she is this way. He said he can see right through her fake laugh and smile and it pisses him off. My MIL went through the same, butmy FIL was physically abusive and did get therapy after she left him. I have done nothing but be the perfect husband. She slipped a few times yesterday and kept calling me hon. That is what she always called me before. for 5 months its been D..... or hey or hello?. FIL picked up on it. I read a posting here about a woman who came out of it after watching her husband playing with a kid just rolling a ball back and forth. Yesterday me and my grandson, he's 2 and just way too cute, were playing football. He wanted me to sit onthe floor and do "rolling". so I did without any thought to what I had read here. He was laughing so hard he kept tipping over. My W was laughing and watching us the whole time. My FIL had to get up and go into the kitchen to hold back his tears. He told me she was just watching you, staring at the two of you playing. I was a huge partier. Last year at that time I was passed out drunk on the couch. I have a lot of changes in my life, rededicated myself to what is important and got my head out of my a... AmyC and Sandi and a few others have been incredible support and have been keeping me focused. I didn't make too much out of yesterday other than the fact that after she was there for about 15 minutes i wanted to leave. My MOO was always to leave when i was uncomfortable or upset. I 180d that one. People were supportive andI had some good conversations with my FILs girlfriend who went through this. she didn't go back to her husbnad because he was a drunk and lazy and just a drain on her. Grass was definitely greener on the otherside for her. she says my W will see it isn't for her. She told me my FIL was watching me all day andgave me credit for being happy, being cool, and being very cordial. He says he doesn't know how i did it. Let me tell you, if it wasn't for the support I get here, i would not have gone. and as AmyC pointed out, I would have what if'd myself to death. I think I got at least two positive signs yestrday, small, but they were there. I know this will take a while to get through. I also know that the POS OM called while we were sitting around adn i was playing with grandson. She dismissed it and continued to watch me and my grandson play, even encouraging me to do this with him and do that with him and remember how you used to do this with our kids. There is no doubt in my mind she saw me as she did many years ago with our own kids. I was big into wrestling around with them and laughing and doing whatever. It was my greatest joy at the end of the day. It was a great time in our lives. My therapist had told me that at some point in time she will see or hear something that will throw her back toa time when she was madly in love love with me. He claism that is the time when they begin the long trek back. He told me she must see you, when she does, as the man she always loved. I do not pursue, pester or cvontact her. she contacts me for whatever. I am no longer her safety net and she is aware of that. i would have regretted not going yesterday. My D commented on how nice i was dressed yesterday and the W agreed. she says dad always looks good when he goes out, he's like a woman, always making sure he looks good, like he's meeting someone. The W reply was really?. I willpost both here and on my site to get as much feedback and support as possible. I feel good today, would feel better if she had crashed yesterday and fell apart in my arms, but that's a dream for a different night.
