Thanks for checking in, I'm all right. Just really exhausted, emotionally and physically. Will post more after the weekend, I think. But I'm doing OK. Will reply to everyone of you more fully later on. Love to all :-)
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
Well, sounds like you're holding up well, first holiday hurdle over.
I'm sorry to hear that you're so exhausted, maybe you can get some rest this weekend.
Well, you were right, about my H not showing up for Thanksgiving. Didn't even call or anything. On the flip side, we had a great day and a great meal. Maybe it was for the best, if he would've showed, there would've been a possibility for drama. This way, no H, no drama.
Today, my mom and sister are helping me get the Christmas stuff up. I hope you have something fun to do today.
Hey there PM. How's it going with you? Did you have a good weekend? I'm feeling a little down about my own R at the moment but I'll not hijack your thread with my problems. Check out my thread for the details.
We don't celebrate thanksgiving here so the first holiday hurdle I have to get over is Christmas. I can see where things not being as they should for the holidays must be so hard. I know that when my W told me she was leaving me, the thought of what I was going to do at Christmas without her fightened me. I like what davidswife said about possibly enjoying it more without her H though. No H, no drama is a great way to look at it. I know you also said you have nobody else there though and that must make it tough. It's you we have to concentrate on now though my dear. You need to pick yourself up and start doing things to make you feel better about yourself. The exercise is a great start. Weight loss makes me feel like a new man sometimes. Might I also recomment a spot of retail therapy? One of the best things about weight loss is the ability to look good in clothes you would never have considered before.
We're all here for you. Take care of yourself and keep your chin up.
Me: 32, Wife: 22 Son: 2 Married: 2 years Separated: January 5th 2009
Sometimes you have to become lost before you can find yourself.
Thanks everyone for holding me up last week! Your help, support and understand meant that I was able to give my kids a fun weekend and I had fun being with them. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
We saw different friends on Sat and Sun and just did exercise, had nice dinners, went out and just had a good time. S8 said to me last night, 'Mom, this is the best day EVER!' and D6 said, 'Mom, why does the weekend go so quickly?' I know from these comments that I had done a good job and am proud of myself. I will not let this MLC/Infidelity H thing beat me.
So same for me, no drama is a good thing. We can still have a good time without H. He is missing out.
My friends, you were here to lift me up when I needed you, thank you.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
C says C will set boundaries for H. C doesn't want me to play bad cop right now, fine by me. So that means, H will be seeing kids at prearranged times and committing to them. We'll see...
C also says that it's better to have an agreement in place in case an accident happens to one of us and there's no will and the OW comes to fight for a portion of our assets. Good point, that's the last thing I want.
C says give it 12 months, see how things progress. I really want to since I don't want D. I am nervous though that any serious conversations will turn confrontational. That's the last thing I want, for things to go backwards. I know things have not been perfect but at least we are getting along on the surface. C says H won't press for D, which is good but I will believe it only if I see it. C also says H has noticed changes in me, I said yeah, I have changed. I am much more happier (mainly because I've adjusted my expectations, don't have to worry about his whereabouts, don't have to think of ways to please him, don't have to control the kids so won't piss H off, it's a lot less pressure living without H, actually).
All this news is good but since H doesn't say much to me at all about me or about himself, I am getting everything secondhand thru C. I hope C is not just blowing smoke. I hope he is telling me the truth but that relies on H telling C the truth... A lot of if's.
I am getting a little bit hopeful again. I don't want to raise my own expectations. Haven't even seen H for ages. So we'll see what his mood is like this weekend. Eggshells...
Boy, we'll see how things go in the next few weeks. We'll probably try to get together again to talk about agreement. C assured me that our counselling session will be on agreement and not D. OK, if you're sure.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
H is a little grump and curt on the phone. I think he might be moving away from fantasy world a little and is realizing that reality is not fun. I hope so. Making things work in real life is hard enough without OW. We'll see how things go this weekend.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
Just thought I'd pop in to say hi PM. It sounds like your C is finally starting to talk some sense. I think your H may be moving away from his fantasy world as you said. Hopefully this is the point where he learns that the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. You have to remain really strong through this and stop him thinking he can just click his fingers and have you back. We all want things which are unattainable for us. Up till now, your H has been having his cake and eating it. Only you can stop that.
I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope the weekend turns out well.
Me: 32, Wife: 22 Son: 2 Married: 2 years Separated: January 5th 2009
Sometimes you have to become lost before you can find yourself.
