Dearest Joe, at the risk of sounding like some spiritual fanatic (and I seem to be doing that lately) I think you have reached the place that you can finally, truly, just lay everything in God’s lap and say, “Here it is…..do whatever.” When we are mentally, physically, and emotionally spent, then we turn lose and we are actually thinking...."What do I have to lose, so I'll turn everything over to God, now". Of course, we don't say that out loud or admit that, but I think as human beings, we just have to be shown that our power is limited b/c we still want to try to figure out some way to fix things.
I thought of so many of my friends here yesterday b/c I knew it was going to be a very hard day for a lot of you. Next month will be even harder......unless you can truly do as you said and drop the rope. But Joe, one of the first things Michelle teaches us in DB is to take care of ourselves......and right now, you need to seriously take care of Joe. Your girls depend on you, and you are the only "Joe" you've got......so please stop trying to figure everything out and "working" at the M or deciding to get a S or a D or selling or buying or making any kind of major decisions that will change your life and your family's forever......for this next month. Can you do that? Can you take a month of mental and emotional vacation? I think it is call preservation. Sweetie, you have got to rest your mind, spirit and body or you can’t keep going. You have taken a beating and you need to take care of yourself just as if you had been to war and had battle fatigue.
December is a sad month for so many people b/c of what the commercial world has done to our mentality of the whole purpose of Christmas. The commercials on TV, the ads, everything screams at us that this is suppose to be the happiest season of the year. I have been telling some others here to stay away from watching sad shows or even those Christmas “specials” that are suppose to be a family warm fuzzy movie…..b/c it will bring you down and that is what you don’t need to be watching and thinking about during this time. The commercial world tells us this is a special time for families and they pour a lot of time and expense into “family” themes just to make more money. The truth is that they are trying to make December some type of “Christmas Magic Month” and have people to buy into all of that. I don’t have to tell you what the purpose of Christmas is…..but all of us have done what the “world” has taught us to do. Every month should be the same with families and with celebrating the birth of Christ, etc.
Anyway, I’m just saying to protect yourself throughout next month and stay away from the type of stuff that you know is going to be depressing (as best that you can). Watch funny movies with the kids, and do fun things. Rest as much as you possibly can, but please, please do not stay at home alone and be overcome with all of this that is hitting you right now. B/c of our mentality about the month of December, it makes any other problem magnified much worse (or so it seems) than it would be any other time of the year. Maybe it isn’t that way for everyone…..and maybe you are one of the few that it doesn’t affect that way. I hope you are one of the few. But, my plea is that you will give yourself a gift by focusing on Joe and his daughters and stop thinking about your W or anything connected with that stitch. Yeah, I know….easy to say, huh? Just try to think of it as being God’s problem now….not yours. Do it for one month. Can you? I mean seriously, can you, or do you have to make certain major decisions before another month goes by?
Your Pastor is an example of what can happen by taking on too much. They are just humans also, so learn by that, Joe. I will be praying for him.
It makes me feel very special that you thought enough of me to write to me during the holiday. You do need comfort and you do need encouragement and hope……..I’m afraid I get to sounding “preachy” myself when I am trying to encourage, (and yes, my post are way tooo long…lol), but I am concerned for you and I want you to be happy. I know that you CAN be, but right now things look very dark and hopeless. I could go on for hours about the Lord and scripture and all of that, but again…..I think for right now…you just need to try to stop thinking…..period. For a month (lol). Take a break from all the drama the best that you can by avoiding your wife by all contact, etc. If necessary, tell her, “Let’s just take a break from each other’s drama for one month and try to have peace away from each other.” Whether it means her staying one place and you another and having to co-parent the kids……just coop with that part the best you can, but stay away from her. It’s survival. And, Joe, you will be happy again…..someday…..and that is the hope to cling to.
Please take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
