I'm here with you my friends...and my coffee. My headache is gone and I'm not out shopping, yet. First time in years that I have not done the 5 am thing, just didn't have the energy for it this year.
Yesterday was the hardest day of my life. It was also one of the very best gatherings that H and I have ever had at our home. The boys both came early so the 6 of us sat around having a drink and watching the baby, who was all dressed up in the cutest little Dockers, button down shirt and holiday vest. All he needed was a pair of little round glasses. He was adorable. He also has just started to crawl, like within the last couple of days, so that was fun to watch him.
We got the food done and H worked his butt off. He loves to cook, but this year he took a lot more of the responsibility. He knew that I was worn out. My parents came and then we had dinner. It was ver nice, other than I had to struggle to keep from crying. At one point my mom and my 15yr old nephew were sitting and talking quietly in the dining room and I did start to cry a little. I just blamed it on having to put Max down last week. I had a handy excuse for being emotional. It was a wonder family day, but I was really ready for people to be gone when the last one left after 6.
I then fixed myself a drink, layed down on the couch and just cryed. Quiet, hot tears, like a faucet. H was there, we talked a bit, he knew I was crying and he said that he was sorry. I couldn't stop crying and I didn't want to talk much to him. He finally asked if I wanted him to sleep on the couch tonight, and I told him no. He went upstairs to the bedroom and I spent the night on the couch. I didn't sleep very well and it was morning before I knew it.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
