Wow guy's, thank you sooooo much for all your help. I have been so confused the past few days I haven't been able to post. I have also just been putting it out of my mind and having a few fun nights out with my friends and have been trying not to think about it other than in 'allotted slots'.
Essie and T you asked me if there was some other emotion behind the car thing? I was wondering about that too and yes I do have strong feelings around it. I am upset about his insensitivity and feel that I deserve better than this, after all it took a lot for me to write that email and he sat on it for a week and then went on holiday with ow and then texted me that weak, patheticness and then asked me about the car without explaining anything. Then my feelings towards selling the car were that the car was actually bought for me to learn to drive on. It was a special car that I have always wanted and we did so much research about what I would feel comfortable in etc as driving is a big issue for me (I got run off the road when I was learning and it knocked my confidence so much and h was so wonderful at encouraging me). We bought this car so I could learn and finally get more independence and then two weeks later he left. It just makes me sad. I got a notice through from the finance people this morning - he is trying to sell it.
Also you asked about boundaries? I am not sure really what boundaries I want to set, and you are right I am probably not in a position to. But I just want him to consider me and show me some respect in that way. Yeah, I know la la land - he ain't going to see that. I think it will be up to me to keep my dignity and so long as I have that I will be ok.
(((Mishka))) - I am going to arm myself with information now, even if I don't let him know I've seen a solicitor. I want to make sure that I am doing the right things so don't jeopardise myself for the future. I no longer know this person well and cannot predict how he will react esp if influenced by ow.
(((Ali))) Thank you so much for making me see that h's text wasn't so bad. You are right, I immediately saw negative because I was so angry. I don't really understand why the car took precedence but in his life I suppose it is the issue that came up. To me there are more pressing things but this is crisis land right? I'm trying to be nice and understanding but really it makes me so cross.
(((Dan))) thank you for saying his text is BS - it so is and it made me laugh to read that. I also thought you were right about him selling the car and it turns out he is. You always make me smile with your posts!
(((Ms M))) I soooooo appreciate you telling me your notes about what Jody said, thank you I really appreciate it.
(((Essie))) Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Just as I thought there was no answer to this you came along. I LOVED your suggestion for a text message. It fits so well with what I want to achieve. I sent it to him last night at about 1am. This is a 180 for me as I am never normally up that late and it may make him wonder. I also love the way it puts the ball back in his court and shows my GALing which I have been also portraying through my FB page. You never know, it may or may not have an impact and it is also good as I have been in my shell for ages so it is good to come out of that and make contact with people again.
Also, thank you so much for your advice about preparing myself for his email. I will certainly follow that. You post was so insightful and helpful. I think my reaction to this smaller matter is weird considering my reaction to other more serious things. I think I had just come to a place where I was stuck and I could see the way through. You have given me fresh ideas and enthusiasm.
(((T))) I sooooo wanted to send a text like that which is why I had just not responded. I followed my mum's good advice from years ago that was 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all'. I can't even type what I really want to say to him here. I just can't believe how insensitive he was and the fact that he probably has no idea, or has some but thinks it is acceptable. I really liked Essie's text because it helped meet those two criteria which are my mini goals leading up to friendship. Although I am struggling to remember why I am doing this, but I know I have to keep on and this is the best way for me.
I've never had pumpkin pie before. I'm so excited!!
So, I am having a day working from home today. My trustee is the only one at my work today so I thought she would harass and irritate me all day so I've chickened out and am working from home. Tomorrow I am going to see the Body Worlds exhibition, which will probably make me pass out but I thought it would be a 180 and my friend really wants to go. And Sunday I am meeting my oldest, dearest friend who I see about once a year and I have to tell her about h... hmmmm. I saw her a few weeks after he left last year but I couldn't talk about it at that point so I have to tell her now. Still, it will be soooo lovely to see her.
Sorry for the ginormous post!
Love you all and thank you for being so unbelievably supportive. This board is definitely the thing I am grateful for this year. I don't know where I would have been without it.
