Dude you need to slow down, man get ahold of yourself. I agree with Ian and others figure out what it is you want! You did it once and achieved a better you and in doing that actually won your W back. You admitted that you fell back into old habits and actions, she tried for 8 months and then gave up what did you expect her to do???
Stop reeling and spinning look into yourself put aside what your C is saying about it's over they don't know they are just speaking from what you are saying. What is inside of you??? You broke it off with OW why did you do that?? Is it because you want your M?? Did you do it out of guilt??? No one can help you until you are ready to help yourself my friend. Start at the beginning make a plan and goals.
Get right with yourself, forgive yourself for your actions and get that weight off first. Next decide your direction and stick to it you know how this works it's about you right now and your kids, time to man up and be the person you need to be.
IMHO breaking it off with the OW is a good start the ball is in your court so how are you gonna play it...
As you know we are here to help when you are ready to 'do work'..
