Ok I hope there are still feelings with H but gut is saying NO feelings.
Today i had to go into the business to do some books and look at an offer we have recieved for flats. H wants me to seriously consider.
The following came out in conversation
1. He likes OW company - no sex and if there was it would just be using her. He wouls have to much trouble trusting again to love again.
2. He will not confront OM until I move out of the area or if I go to be friends with OM again
3. He thinks possibly by going out and having fun ie sex he might realise that it is not what he wants
4. Wants me completely out of the business as he has no drive when he knows i stand to gain from his work.
5. Says he has horrible feelings when I am around nd feels good when i am not. although today he says he felt good
6. He hugged me and kissed me - a peck.
7. Said he would rather have sex with me than the OW right now.
I was fairly strong, did not whine .I looked good but I did talk about R. Said that it hurt when he spoke of other woman and he said well why was it ok for me to go and have an A and not good enough for her......
I said that I gave up the OM for him , he said but you did not because you lied for 3 years and that where all the pain was done.
He said go fix yourself and then you might realise I am not for you and I might see the new you and want you again.
He seemed pleased that I had made plans to go out etc.
I recognise the feelings in him. When I was seeing OM i just wanted H to leave and get out of my face. Go find someone etc etc but when the A was discovered , I did a complete change.
I know the answer is to get out there and become the independant woman but at the moment I want H more.
Thoughts anyone. Do i ontinue minimal contact etc but avoid R talk. He hates me coming to his work , so how do i be with him with good feelings.
He also said the no contact was helping him heal. Is this good or is he healing in a way that puts more distance between us ?
what am I afraid of ?
Not being a complete family Never having someone who cares someone to take an interest in me. Having hassles with new spouses etc Feeling like his forever Rushing out an going into an inappropriate relationship just to get past these feelings Never eating again
