mt-honey I know it is hard. You know what you want but he has to be able to give it to you completely and honestly or is it really worth it? Babe, I've had it great with H and I've had it crappy, and I've had it halfassed. Trust me on this, great is the only way to go. H and I have had sex over these last few months and it isn't what it was. I mean it is good sex, but that is all it is and I don't want that with him. Frankly, I don't want that with anyone.
You and I are in very different places in ourselves right now but I can tell you, I know the pain you are feeling. The uncertainty. I know because I waited for two years with OW there every day. Do you really want that? I think your selfesteem is pretty good now, but imagine yourself two years down the road if things continue as they are. Are you going to be a strong MT, a happy MT, a confident MT, or are you going to be a woman who wonders what she is worth and accepts any scraps that are thrown her way from H?
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
Hey Kel- I wish I could turn you into that little voice that sits on my shoulder and shouts in my ear, when I need to hear it. I need you when H is here and he knows exactly how to play me. I wish I could get mad and stay mad at him, but I haven't found the strength to do that yet. I know I need to muster it up, I hope to find it soon!
Thank you Kel! I do appreciate everything you tell me. I just need it repeated to me loudly when H is here with me!
Thanks! I know that sometimes it helps a little bit to know there are others here who understand, and this afternoon has been quiet on here and we all need some support on a great holiday, but a tough one too.
Kel is one of the best and always has great things to tell me and try and keep me on the straight and narrow....not very easy right now!
Ok MT-put me in your head. Imagine my voice or if you can't do that I'll send you my # in the alt so you can hear it and then stick it there. I wouldn't be where I am right now if I didn't have one particular person's advice and 2x4's going on in my head every waking and sleeping minute of the day.
And remember this, I am really great at telling people what to do and then doing the exact opposite myself. I talked to BG this morning. She is sounding ok. Wondering how her dinner went. Have you talked to her?
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
LOL! You are cracking me up Kel! No I haven't talked to BG today. I just finished loading the dishwasher to notice, I have no soap! Yipee! Thanks again for everything! How was your day? Hope you have a great evening.
Any early morning shopping for tomorrow? I used to like to go just to watch the fights. The best was at Wal mart the year of the Furby! It was a hoot, well not really, but I guess I liked it..Obviously! Grown women fighting over some furry thing that talked.
Listen MT-anger will serve you for now. But what you need to find is the part of you that really says and means, just because I want my M and H, doesn't mean I have to accept anything less than the best for me. But you have to be willing to accept that what H is giving you now is the best that he can do, at least for a while, and know in your heart that even if it hurts, you deserve better than how he is treating you. If you can't do that because you want him so badly then you should just let him come home until you can't take it anymore and end up hating him and yourself. I don't mean to be harsh. I'm sorry if it comes across that way. I just don't want to watch anyone go through what I did if I can say anything to help them learn what it took me so long too.
I have been through so much, I alwasy tell people I could write a book but people would think it was fiction. My life has been on big soap opera and I am finally putting all of the lessons together. You guys have helped with that believe it or not. Mostly by making me laugh.
I kinda think BG's thing has me a little more aggitated than I thought. Sorry
Last edited by kelaaron; 11/28/0812:54 AM.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
No, Kel I appreciate your harshness, I understand what you are saying. If I was on the outside looking in, I would be in my face yelling and screaming! It is so much easier to deal with someone else's stich than your own. Especailly when you have been through it. I do appreciate your experience and knowledge. I need to buck up and put on my big girl panties and deal with it!
Happy Thanksgiving MT. Don't worry about slipping with your H. Worry more about the feelings of him playing you. Do what is good for you.
I thought of you earlier today. It gave me strength. Today was the very hardest day of my life. I had to put a smile on my face and do the whole Thanksgiving dinner for the whole family, even tho H told be this morning that it was a PA that he had with the OW this past spring. OMG. What has happened to all of us this week?
Needless to day the morning was very ugly. I don't think I have ever been in more pain in my life. I wanted to cry the whole time my parents and kids were there...but I thought of you sunshine and thought if you can do it so can I.
I have a killer headache...start of a migrain I thing. H is up in the bedroom and I am on the couch crying.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
