I've just read all your posts! For some reason I hadnt been able to find you. But its great to read your sitch. I am so so sos ososososos impressed with how you are handling your situation - and your GAL activities! You are amazing. I'm sure you are an inspiration to people in RL who know you, because of your strength and dignity and grace.
I also really wanted to comment on how well you did with meeting H's friend at the train station. Well done you for making him feel comfortable - that is such a big thing, and shows that you are in control of yourself. I'm sure that made a big impression.
Obviously you are the expert in your sitch, and you have done a great job so far... and I dont really get the whole in's and outs of the car finance thing. It seems there is some emotion behind the car finance thing that is not obviously apparent in your post - you seem more upset about it that would be 'normal' given how you've dealt with much harder things.... I think there must be something going on under the surface.
I also think your email to H was wonderful, and that if you are patient something really good will come out of it. Just be patinent, and more patient, and when you cant wait another day longer wait an hour longer!
The longer I do this DB-ing thing the less sure I am about giving advice... But some of my basic principles I stick to and I would like to share with you - but feel free to ignore because you know yourself and H so much better than me.
Basic principle #1 - Keep all interactions happy and fun and light. So respond to his text about the car in a happy fun way. Be someone that he wants to contact, without fear of being blasted or having to deal with an emotional wreck. (I'm sure you're not, but you get the picture!)
You know if it was me and you wanted to set a boundary (although I'm not quite sure I get what you mean by this or if you are in a stage where you can set boundaries) I would put some of the responsibility back to him to sort out the car. I think this is a better way for you to set a 'boundary' that you are not going to clean up his mess for him.
E.g. H - Gosh I've been so busy and I cant see myself having time to sort this out. I'm also a bit confused about what it means. Can you please write the letter for me and I will be happy to sign it and return it to you? Thank you for sorting this out for me, I'm so glad you are so onto it!
I also read about how you are anxious about his email response. I'm sure that you are probably working through this already... but to help you deal with whatever he might end up saying, I think you need to mentally challenge yourself to be ready to accept the absolute worst thing he could possibly say. It will be a bit emotionally draining, but imagine the worst response you can get from him, and then look to see that you would be OK even if he said that. Whenever my emotions are out of control I have to work on accepting the situation - even if I dont like it (and often I dont) I choose to accept that its really happening, and that I will survive it!
(((( Julia )))) P.S I think your H is crazy - you are a beautiful person inside and out and he really really is the one that is missing out on you.
Also for SURE OW is insecure about you, and is trying to mark her terriotry with her FB comments - I've seen it happen in RL with RL friends, and guess what?? The OW never comes off better!
