Okay, i held it together pretty well and now I am falling apart. I almost kept my vow (I did cry once but it was in the bathroom and no one saw me). I feel like my heart is actually shredding apart in my chest.
Why does this hurt so much? Why am I not stronger than this? I want to call H so badly right now but I cannot because I am a mess. Nothing good would come of it and that hurts too.
I am so sorry I am such a wreck. I really tried to be strong.
