My heart goes out to you and your precious children. Your D4 is definitely cycling. There is just a little too much upheaval still for her little person mind to soak up. Give as many hugs as you can. I know you are being encouraging to her in her R with her dad. That's the best you can do.
I'm thankful this Thanksgiving that XH's family lives on the other side of the country so it's not an issue.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Thanks everyone! Hope all had a lovely holiday and I know we all can dig deep and find many things to be thankful for today.
I woke up lonely and had a solid cry in the shower (I was mostly boo-hoo'ing because I am soooo tired all the time, feel worn down lately). Once I got some Diet Coke in me, all was right. We went to church this morning. D4 stood up and whispered "Thank you God for Fanksgiving". Yep, all is right in the world.
xH worked all day so I had the girls. We spent almost all day with my family. Cousins played and played and played. Adults ate. Very relaxing. xH stopped by tonight to kiss on the girls and they were happy to see him. Although, they always whisper to me "Is Daddy leaving later?" I say "Yes" and they say "Good" ???? I think they really like time with me, but I don't want them feeling that way either. It'll all iron out I suppose.
Sounds like a great day all in all! Sad that the girls respond that way about their dad leaving. They're so young though, maybe they look at it like their dad is a treat and when he leaves that only means that he comes back again to give them special kisses and hugs. At their age, that would make more sense than them not wanting him to be there.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
At their age, that would make more sense than them not wanting him to be there.
As much as I would like to believe this, it's difficult.
lwb, S4 will act in the same way. If I say, "Ok, time to get ready for Dad. He's coming to pick you guys up," S4 will say he doesn't want to go with Daddy. Sometimes it's just for a few hours, so I'll tell him it's only for a little while. S4 then says, "Then we're coming back here (home)?" I say yes, then he smiles and says, "Yay!!!" S12 has exhibited the same sort of feelings as well.
It IS troubling that they aren't always thrilled to spend time with their father or when they're asking "when's Dad going home?" I can only think in my sitch that it's because they've witnessed and felt the tension between both their parents, and well let's face it - which parent was prone to react the most angrily? The "scariest" to the child?
So sad.
Anyhow, I'm very glad to hear that you had a nice Thanksgiving . You deserve all the happiness and good times that are to come your way!
(((((lwb)))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
It's official... the holiday formally known as Turkey Day is "Fanksgiving" from here on forward. How sweet and cute.
Your daughters are so lucky to have a mom like you and a dad who wants to be there for the good night kiss.. even if you are no longer married.
Being and getting divorced must be like the 'terrible twos'.. that you're all geared up for, anticipate, cringe drop and roll with the whole shebang. Lo and behold, you only find out after the fact that it's when the kids are just a touch older, that's when the shitake hits the fan.
I go from having this beautiful sense of forgiveness and acceptance to reeling with the sense of injustice that one guy can wreak so much havoc on every possible aspect of what was the life we shared as a family. GrrrRRRrrrRRRRRr...
Maybe life goes from a rollercoaster ride to that type that looks like a big pirate ship that swings higher and higher then loops around. Scary.. but not as bad, and doesn't last as long.
