Still Learning

[techguy]

I said I was struggling with whether to call H today to say happy T-day. What if H feels abandoned? My brother very kindly but very firmly reminded me that H left me and if he feels abandoned he'll have to address that himself. Made me feel much better.

Ohhhh.... I can't believe I ate the whole thing! (old commercials anyone)?

Dinner was wonderful today. I'm fortunate to still live in the same town where I grew up... all my family here for holidays.

I struggled with the question of whether to acknowledge the holiday to spouse or not. I know alot of people go back and forth on stuff like anniversaries, birthdays, etc...

I've been pretty dark of late. And yes, WAS made their decision and need to live with the consequences. But my gut still tells me that wife needs to know that I still care for her. Too easy for her to imagine me as a heartless monster.

So she texted me to coordinate kid transfer. I responed to her question and added: "Had a fun time cooking today. But I did miss you". Decided that was a good combination of PMA and still letting her know I cared.

She responded: "It's been a difficult day". Pretty typical... she just can't directly admit that she missed me or had any feelings. But a vague 'it's been difficult' is something.