H got here around 9:00. I so suck at this DBing right now. I just can't do it. It felt so good having him here, and we had sex. We were watching a movie and laying on the couch while the turkey was cooking. I tried not too, but I just couldn't stop. I miss him so much. SD24 brought her BF, he seems OK. When all of this is going on, it makes it that much harder to meet someone new and have them here. After my Mom and Dad got here, they talked to them so that was easier. H was very helpful for me, I didn't feel like I was on my "A" game with the food. H told me I was on earlier. That made me laugh! In the movie with Michelle Pfiefer and Robert Redford movie Up Close and Personal, when she moves to Philadelphia and things don't work for her when he wasn't there. That is how I feel, things don't work as well for me. All the food was great, but just felt like I had to work at it a lot harder than normal, the bird was done too early, I guess that was the only thing that wasn't right, and I kept it warm so it was good.
We talked more about going to Arizona for the car auction and then maybe going to the Grand Canyon. If he doesn't want me why does he want to go there with me, I don't understand that.
After everyone left we laid on the couch together and napped during the end of the Lions (Sorry Hope) and Titans game.
I figure OW had to work today, as he stopped at the store and got a drink before he came out. H looked at his watch saw it was 3:30 and said, he had better go see his brother. I didn't want to let him up. I wanted him to stay. I was a bit misty, but didn't really cry. H said what are you doing tonight? I said nothing. H said what are you doing tomorrow? I said I don't know. H said he was going to come out and load the truck up with the steel. I said need to go to the bank too. H said yeah. We hugged and kissed for a while. This is just killing me. H said can I call you tonight, I said yeah, you can come back if you want. H said I will see. I said you don't have too. We kissed again, and hugged and he left. H looked like he was going to cry when he drove out. I went in the house and balled my eyes out. I just am having such a hard time with this. I am not good at controlling my emotions when he is concerened right now. I didn't ask where he was staying at.
I asked him if he slept in, h said no. I said what time did you wake up? H said about 3:30. I told him about waking up and sitting straight up thinking it was time to get up on Tuesday night/Wednesday Morning. I said did you sleep hard and then wake up. H said no right now I am not sleeping hard at all.
I miss everything with him, laying there with him holding me felt so good. I know I screwed up the DBing terribly.
Hope everyone's dinner was good and peaceful. I am very full! Watching the Dallas game now.
