My blood ran cold.....I guess I wanted something more definitive
Watch those expectations- remember to have NONE!
Originally Posted By: Mr ITH
"I have been letting things ride and just see what happens. I still feel the way I feel but I want to try for the next few months and see where we are at. I am trying, I really am. I am trying to open,
This all seems good
Originally Posted By: Mr ITH
I am giving things a chance like you want.
Ummmm......not so good- he's feeling under pressure from you still, and seems to let slip that he's doing this to make you happy? I've been following your thread so I know you've been trying more physical affection and so on, but I think you need to back off doing that- it's something that meets your needs rather than his at the moment and you'd probably be better off backing off a bit from that and seeing what happens..... just a suggestion though!
Originally Posted By: Mr ITH
It is nice being together. Lets see what happens.
This sounds good!
Originally Posted By: ITH
Is this good or bad? I wanted a recommitment...
Watch those expectations! A recommitment isn't a baby step- it's a giant leap. The e-mail contains a few baby steps- be pleased with them and lower your expectations!
Originally Posted By: Mr ITH
"lets just adapt a bit, let me get some time with things as this and for the new year we can do this. i still need to do a lot of thinking, and i still need time on my own. i still need time to myself. i am not saying i will not go to counseling, i will, just give me some space."
How do you think you could give him his wish? Do you think it's physical space he's asking for? Or mental space? IMHO it's probably mental space, so fewer calls, texts etc.... I'm just guessing though....
Originally Posted By: ITH
And at the same time I'd sent another email, one I never should have sent saying I love him and that I want a fresh start. He emailed back saying things are not alright and I shouldn't assume anything, to slow it down a bit.
So the lesson here is no pushing- it didn't work and took you down a cheeseless tunnel!
Originally Posted By: ITH
In one way an acknowledgment of trying qualifies me for piecing but trying is not a recommitment...
Why the pressure on yourself to reach a recommitment goal? Could you revise this expectation/goal and set a series of baby goals instead?
Originally Posted By: ITH
I don't know how to slow things down. Other than today's email, I have been backed off.
Hmmmm...... I'm not so sure- see my comment above. Let your H lead things. It's going to be hard for you to do, and you'll need to dig deep and be patient. Expect nothing and you'll always be pleasantly surprised!
I have to say that IMHO you should be pleased, so I'm very confused about why you're not. I agree that sending the ILY text (and probably asking about the MC) were pushing him a bit, but it's done and he's not ready, which is fine. He's trying- I'd love my H to say that! (Or would I? Having a questioning my goals day today!)
