I think they retreat for many reasons. In Freudean (sp?) terms, their Id generates a whole slew of different feelings, they kind of all combine and then the ego just sort of synthesises a behavior.
Some of the reasons were already mentioned. Another one is that they see how good you look, how good you feel. But they know they look terrible. They know how miserable they are. So in some ways the meeting really crystalizes how badly they are doing for them.
People don't want to look bad, especially to people they care about. So they retreat hoping that they can wait and be 'better' the next time they meet.
Now, I know what your thinking! Why don't I show him some vulernability? I'm really not doing that good. He thinks I'm doing good, but it was all a mask. If he knew how bad I was doing then he wouldn't feel bad and we could meet as equals!
Don't go there! At best, you would be trading a short term gain for long-term progress. Long-term, husband <must> see you as positive and attractive. Showing him your weakness doesn't accomplish that. (I.E. 'Look, I'm just as pathetic as you' isn't very appealing).
So how do does this work? It's like reeling in a fish! You reel him in three feet and then he fights back and pulls the line back out a foot. The saga continues, two steps forward, one backwards.
My thread, Carpe Diem #4 Orig Thread: Carpe Diem #1
