Hi Kalni: We haven't signed any papers or gone over any specifics of our separation since she moved out - when I tried to talk about the arrangement with her - and the legal parameters - she started threatening to take our son away from me - and locked herself in the bedroom as she yelled at me, calling me an f-ing mf...The next day she told me that she had called a battered woman's shelter - and that someone there told her that abusive men always threaten to take the child away from the mother and have her declared mentally unfit....this happened just two weeks before she moved out - and all because I had asked her to talk about how we would work out visitation.
When I mentioned that I would like to have our son with me at least 50% of the time - she lost it...saying that I had no right to more than 50%. She insisted that "at least 50%" meant no less than half - and insisted that it meant that I wanted him more than half the time. As it turns out, a "friend" of hers from high school (who is in school as a social worker) is apparently the one that told her that I am an abusive husband and that I will try to take our baby away from her.
My T and also two other T's I've spoken with all responded the same way when I described my wife's behavior to them - saying that they thought she was bipolar. She was supposed to have started T at the beginning of the month - and I know that she went once, but it seems like she's not going back.
I really can't make sense of the need to put the baby down before she picks him up...she just seems purely irrational. Last night, it was pouring rain when she came to pick up the baby, but rather than parking under the carport - where she and the baby would be sheltered - she pulled into the carport and then backed out to face the street and stayed in the pouring rain.
I called our MC and asked her if she knew any lawyers that had experience with bipolar cases...she wasn't very helpful - but I did managed to get at least one name...so I spoke with a lawyer who I think has a background as an C. His recommendation was kind of frustrating - he mentioned that if she is bipolar that it might be best to wait for this cycle to run its course, and that then, once she's calm again, to approach her about going to mediation. He recommended keeping our divorce out of court - since she would most likely manipulate the system and get what she wants...this is the second time I've heard this kind of advice from a lawyer...and it's very upsetting as it makes me feel so very helpless - especially since there's no way I can have her go in for a psych evaluation - which I think is necessary.
I wasn't sure why she threatened to call the police at all - especially as I was just apologizing to her for having snipped. When she said it I felt like she was just trying to stop me from talking - and stop me from saying anything that contradicted what she was thinking.
Sadly, the more and more she acts this way, the more I see my life as better without her. But she is the mother of my son - and so I have to stick it out in some way - not for the sake of our marriage - which I am done with - but for the sake of our child.
