I let him know last night (very emotionally) that he is at the bars too much for me to handle. I told him that I am lonely and sad alot. I told him that I need a Husband to be able to spend my nights with and make plans with and cook dinners for,ect...
We went in circles for about an hour. We kept getting off topic and it would turn into a fight about why he left and ugliness from our past. I did my best to not do that and every now and then I would stop us and tell him I dont want to fight about the past I just am lonely now.
He understood, but now he seems really awkward around me. We actually ended the spat on a good note and he stayed at my place for the night.
I really hope I didnt blow it for good. I said what I needed to and he was defensive in many ways but also I think he Heard me. I guess we will see.
What a mess I have made. Now we are both down and out and its thanksgiving. We have to act normal around our families and its gonna be hard.
