I screwed up again

[techguy]

But somehow I need to make it clear to my W that if she pulls the trigger on the D, I am going to tell them the entire truth including the EA.

Hi AN,

You should think carefully about this. Trying to threaten your wife with bad things if she divorces you doesn't seem to be in the spirit of DBing. The only way this works is for you to get her to love you again.

So there are appropriate ways to talk to wife about OM. For example, many people set boundaries (i.e. I won't let you openly communicate with OM when you live in 'our' house).

Other people might tell relatives about OM now (i.e Puppy). But that is something that would just be 'done'. It wouldn't be used as a threat against wife.

Personally, based on your situation, I wouldn't involve relatives right now and I certainly wouldn't threaten wife with telling later.