Hi Jon. You caught me checking as I have the afternoon off, otherwise, I'm not around much.
Things are stable and progressing. We had a MC session last Friday to talk about what and when to tell the kids and I basically said that I'm not about to say anything that sounds like I want this divorce and then I blew up BOOM!! Saying that for the last year of MC it's all been about what a jerk I am and what I've done wrong and how I haven't seen her working on this marriage etc. I guess that I felt safe enough to vent though I doubt she heard me.
My W expressed that she is pretty scared about some of my coping strategies. They aren't for publication, but, they are mentally taking actions that aren't survivable. I explained to her again and to my MC again that I'm in no way ready to depart, but, I darned sure need a way to deal with the hurt and while she may feel like she's going through this by herself, she has her new relationship. I refuse to go chasing after one just to ease the pain.
I want to move on. The kids are doing pretty well and I talked to her family and asked them to reach out to her and to offer her their support. Beyond that, I want there to be finality one direction or another. Oh, don't misunderstand. I still love her.
This morning, I sent her a good morning text message that she told me made her smile. Then, there's a part of me that thinks I'm stupid for doing things like that, while another part of me figures that's just who I am and part A is going to have to get used to it.
