You were still in shock last year, hon...so, this is the first holiday season. It is always hardest for the first one. Next year, you will be able to look forward to all of the good stuff again. It will be there for you, I promise. This year, be easy on yourself. Make it a goal to just survive it. Let Marc take some control of the decorating (he won't be as deeply affected as you are) - you'll be amazed at what the kids can do. My tree was up with only the lights for about 2 solid weeks - the ornaments were a last minute thing. I think all of my holiday decorating was done by the 2 kids last year, in large part. I cried on the inside watching how much my boy was able to do, things that X used to handle. But now I am looking forward to it, changing things up in small but fun ways for the 3 of us.
Let go what you can let go of this year. I know that you were already cooking things - a quiet email to a fam member who could spread the word that you just need a break this year might help. You can go one year without "pulling your weight." It is small things like that where family can actually help you out - they want to do something for you, you know.
I know that your time is so constrained....have you tried the hour-get-aways yet? Or even a 1/2 hour? You need it before you burn yourself out!
