I don't know if this is any comfort, but generally what happens w/ an affair is that the spouse generally finds that life isn't much different. The newness will wear off, and he may look around to say...wait I thought this was supposed to be better...
The guilt may eat him up.
However, in the meantime, you need to do for you. I now how painful this is. Post here, it might take a little time to get someone to pick up on your thread, but we are a goodish bunch, and there is a lot of advice.
I think the biggest part of doing for you is finding things you enjoy to do alone. This, by no means, says that you have to go out and party, or anything like that. Read a book. Watch a movie. Play on the computer (we do a lot of that). Remember, time does heal. This does not mean you will not love your H, but you will start to see the good in you. Work on areas that could be improved, regardless of whether or not you reconcile. It will make you feel better.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
