hey girl glad you are breathing today. its ok, this cowgirl will cry with you. i swear i never knew we had so many tears we could cry!! thinking of you!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
I am jealous of your weather MT. It's 35 here. But I am thankful that we have clear skies and sunshine.
We just had a nice lunch with the folks that I work with. Those of us that are here today all ordered Mexican and ate together in the conference room. It was fun and lifted my spirits.
I know that I also have a lot to be thankful for. You my friends, family and my home, my job and even being alive.
I have not heard a word from H and am having a hard time concentrating. Wish that I was at home, baking and cleaning. I don't even know if he will be there when I get home tonight. The fight was so ugly and he kept repeating over and over how he was going to D me. I told him if thats what he wanted to do it. He will never find anyone better than I. He has no idea what D is really like.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
BG- Glad to hear from you sorry, I missed you. You are in my thoughts too!
I am glad that your lunch was good Hope. Yes, you are the best and your H will miss out on a wonderful life with you if he so chooses. I think they all need to pull their heads out of their asses and rejoin the real world. When they finally do, it will be such a rude awakening.
Hey hon, I hope your day has been good. Mine has been very calm and interesting. I need to digest everything and I will post about it tomorrow. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Love you.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
MT-thought I was done but then I had a thought. If you are really interested in learning more, I have a web site I can share with you in the alt and you can read some. The other thing is Alisudden is an astrologer. Her thread is in MLC. She speaks very techincally about it but I am amazed to see how she breaks down every single thing in her sitch and can relate it to what is/was going on in the sky at the time. Like I said to someone else, I am still really learning about this transit business, I have always been more into birth charts and synastry. Which is amazing as well. So for me there is a bit of learning still going on.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
Well H stopped by around 5:00 he looked really pale. It was a fun night, we talked about a lot of different stuff, R not included. I had gotten a magazine from Barrett Jackson on the classic car auction that is January, it is on Speed TV. We started looking in the catalog of cars, and H started to figure out how far ahead for his days off corresponding to the auction. H said I could take my vacation that week and we would just miss the last day. H says how much does it cost to get in? H wants me to get find a hotel close by and see what it runs and how much it costs to get in if you aren't bidding. H marked it off on the calendar. Asked should be drive or fly?
He kept sitting next to me on the couch off and on. At one point H says, I shouldn't sit here, I am horny. I said you are always horny. Something he used to say all the time. H had brought some beer for tomorrow, he also brought in the keys to jeep so if the weather gets bad I have a 4x4. I had asked him about them when I talked to him today. H started drinking and I usually took about 2 drinks to each of his bottles, so I was sure not to get too drunk, just enough to feel a bit better. I had bought a game from QVC like a Wii or Xbox, but this just plugs into the TV, it has football, baseball, golf, tennis, and bowling. I had hooked it up on Saturday and played a bit. So H said lets try it. We played golf. And he was very "handsy" I guess would be the word. He kept helping with my swing! LOL. H said lets play naked golf. I just laughed. I ended up with his shirt on, but we didn't do anything else. I know he wanted to and I wanted to, but I wouldn't let myself. That was very hard, I wanted him to hold me. H asked if I had gotten any cheese, I said yeah. We ended up eating some Ham and cheese and dip. We played golf, and then bowling. Bowling wasn't as fun. H had stopped drinking. We went in and watched Wild Hogs or part of it, we danced to the part at the festival where the guy is up singing. It was a lot of fun. H asked a couple of times if I was having fun? I said yes. I could tell he was thinking of leaving. He was sitting on the edge of the couch. H finally said well, I guess I will go. H asked what time I was getting up, I said probably 5:30. I said do you want me to call you and wake you up? H said, No I think I will try and sleep in. I said OK. He took his new VW magazine and the Barrette Jackson catalog that came too. H asked again if I was OK, I said, I don't know. I said are you, H said No, but that is OK. I said no it isn't. I wanted to say, you know how to fix this. But I didn't say anything. H said I will leave on a good note. I said OK. We hugged for a long time, H kissed me good bye and he hasn't done that for a long time. We hugged some more and kissed some more. I walked out on the deck and told him to sleep well, and H left. I am OK right now. I didn't ask where he was staying. He maybe with her, but I think since he took the magazines he isn't, but who knows. His bag with his stuff was in the backseat of the truck, I think because he went back and got the keys to the jeep and I heard him unzip it to get them. I am trying not to assume where he is at. I hope he isn't with her. I know he had lunch at the plant he said they had their turkey dinner today, and it wasn't bad. I know he probably went and saw her, but I will stop imagining things.
Anyway that was my evening. It was very nice. I had fun and so did he. He just has to choose to make a decision himself.
Hope all have a wonderful day tomorrow! And a peaceful night getting there.
H got here around 9:00. I so suck at this DBing right now. I just can't do it. It felt so good having him here, and we had sex. We were watching a movie and laying on the couch while the turkey was cooking. I tried not too, but I just couldn't stop. I miss him so much. SD24 brought her BF, he seems OK. When all of this is going on, it makes it that much harder to meet someone new and have them here. After my Mom and Dad got here, they talked to them so that was easier. H was very helpful for me, I didn't feel like I was on my "A" game with the food. H told me I was on earlier. That made me laugh! In the movie with Michelle Pfiefer and Robert Redford movie Up Close and Personal, when she moves to Philadelphia and things don't work for her when he wasn't there. That is how I feel, things don't work as well for me. All the food was great, but just felt like I had to work at it a lot harder than normal, the bird was done too early, I guess that was the only thing that wasn't right, and I kept it warm so it was good.
We talked more about going to Arizona for the car auction and then maybe going to the Grand Canyon. If he doesn't want me why does he want to go there with me, I don't understand that.
After everyone left we laid on the couch together and napped during the end of the Lions (Sorry Hope) and Titans game.
I figure OW had to work today, as he stopped at the store and got a drink before he came out. H looked at his watch saw it was 3:30 and said, he had better go see his brother. I didn't want to let him up. I wanted him to stay. I was a bit misty, but didn't really cry. H said what are you doing tonight? I said nothing. H said what are you doing tomorrow? I said I don't know. H said he was going to come out and load the truck up with the steel. I said need to go to the bank too. H said yeah. We hugged and kissed for a while. This is just killing me. H said can I call you tonight, I said yeah, you can come back if you want. H said I will see. I said you don't have too. We kissed again, and hugged and he left. H looked like he was going to cry when he drove out. I went in the house and balled my eyes out. I just am having such a hard time with this. I am not good at controlling my emotions when he is concerened right now. I didn't ask where he was staying at.
I asked him if he slept in, h said no. I said what time did you wake up? H said about 3:30. I told him about waking up and sitting straight up thinking it was time to get up on Tuesday night/Wednesday Morning. I said did you sleep hard and then wake up. H said no right now I am not sleeping hard at all.
I miss everything with him, laying there with him holding me felt so good. I know I screwed up the DBing terribly.
Hope everyone's dinner was good and peaceful. I am very full! Watching the Dallas game now.
